Is it really almost OCTOBER?!?!?! Where have i been?! Or a better question is "what the heck have we been up too, that i just can't get my act together enough to post more often?!?!"
The highlite of the past month or two was that last weekend, I got to go on a quick "girls" trip to Calgary for the Keith Urban concert!!! WOW! What an amazingly fantastic show! honestly, more than anything i enjoyed being with the girls and just letting go of my world and just zoning out with some amazing music for an entire evening! I had a blast and it recharged me to just regroup and take some "me" time:)That makes me a better parent, and my boys were in the most amazing hands Thanks to my amazing parents. Because i knew they were having a blast and being well taken care of, i was able to do it...that is a blessing all in itself...don't know what i'd do without them! i'm so very thankful!
I find lately with having been busier this summer and not posting blogs so often...I am internalizing a lot more of my thoughts and feelings...which causes those same pot holes of worry and doubt to creep in and tear up a beautiful paved road that I've asked God to heal...sure I have my scares...my road will never be completely free and smooth...but I need to make sure I'm aligning myself with Gods plans...my hearts desire is to share my life with someone I love...I found my hearts desire once and I married him and we created a beautiful life together...simple and full of so much love and life...that pot hole of guilt...in thinking I've had it already once...would I ever be so blessed to have God grant me that kind of love again? I can't worry about those things that aren't here...it's foolish to wish for plans that r selfish...God has to have something more...I have to keep trusting In His plans to be so much richer and fuller than I could ever dream!
I am inspired to once again be content...in whatever stage of life God has me in right at this moment...to truly believe that there is no greater place than this...but what a conflicting place for one's heart to be...I believe God plants dreams in our hearts and desires more than anything for us to dream Big! So today my prayer is that I may be faithful in trusting that God has a master plan and that somehow He has something exciting for me in that plan...and that my dreams and my hearts desires will be moulded out of His hearts desire for me...to let go and let God...and know that beyond this life is the absolute mind-blowing destination that we have been created for in the first place...this earth only being a pitstop along the way to our eternity in a foreverness of hope and peace and anything beyond what we could ever ask for or imagine! Now Try to wrap ur head around that!!! 'gives me goosebumps!'
Over the last year, I have been pushed out into the cold and forced to take a leadership role desperately seeking where God wants me and my boys for the rest of this life...because afterall, it was Colin’s time to go home, but my time is not up, it’s not over, i have to keep going whether i want too, at times, or not. My dad send me this email of a devotional he gets, and it was so perfectly written, and i’d love to share with you!
Key Bible Verse: Teach us to realize the brevity of life, so that we may grow in wisdom.(Psalm 90:12)
God has the authority to shape a soul with his voice, bind it to matter, and send it into history. And he has the authority to sever my soul from my body and call it to another part of the stage. He has the authority to reuse the matter from my flesh in daffodils. I'm not worried. I'll get more.
There is no evil in his voice calling us to cross the Jordan, whether he calls us singly or in droves. There is no evil when he tells us to lay our first flesh down, no more than when he sends a caterpillar into its cocoon.
To his eyes, you never leave the stage. You do not cease to exist. It is a chapter ending, an act, not the play itself. Look to him. Walk toward him. The cocoon is a death, but not a final death. The coffin can be a tragedy, but not for long.
There will be butterflies.
I will die, and when I do—whether it be in my bed as age creeps over me, or struck by lightning, a meteor, or a UPS truck—[God's] hand will be the one that cuts the thread and shows me the path he blazed through tragedy. His finger will point to the parade.
The biggest lesson i can share with you is how i’ve learned not to be afraid of death, but to instead trust God with my story....in it’s entirety...because now, i’m starting to believe things for me again, i have faith and i trust that God still wants to grant me the desires of my heart...that makes me full of hope!
I will try my best to post again soon!
Love, Melissa
