Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Something that's on My Heart...

Ya know when you have those days, when it seems all is right with the world, like finally something you’re telling your kids is sinkin in and somehow it feels like you’re moving forward? (honestly, who am i kidding, it may feel like it, but i’m not sure what is really sinkin in..maybe on the 10th or 12th time of saying it...i’ve lost track already...lol)
Maybe it’s those glimpses of The Joy of the Lord that God desires us to have each and every day....could you imagine?! I think it’s become this far off dream of ours that this type of Joy in each day is somehow impossible to attain and even harder to hold on too. The weird, yet common sense thing about it is, I’m thinkin God must be just beating His head against a door because this is probably, simply, what He wants most in our everyday lives.... for us to wake up, say “good Morning, Lord, I choose Your JOY to seep through every aspect of my life and my day, Protect me from being robbed of that JOY You so desire in me”. It comes back to the very point of the intense power of Praising God through each and every circumstance, but then why is it so hard to adopt into our daily living?! It’s a trickledown effect, when we have that JOY, we want to Praise, and we want to believe God to do amazing things in and through us......i think once we’ve caught a glimpse of how it tastes, it becomes harder and harder to let go of and forget about. I think this is the nature of God Himself. That once we taste HIM and His Grace and Love, which we can’t help but want more of that peace and that JOY only HE gives. Too many people look at faith as this chore, like it’s somehow requires you giving up everything that makes you, you, and you no longer can be who you are. But the sad part of that thought is that God knew you before you were ever created, He spend so much time dreaming about your heart, your likes and dislikes..what makes you happy, what is important to you...HE knew before your life began the circumstances that would shape who you are today, and HE loves you more today with all that baggage and life experience than He did the day he dreamed you into being! I just think that our narrow-minded thinking of faith has blanketed all “religions” and branded and robbed people from entering into a really cool friendship with the God of the universe...How many belief systems can say that...I am a friend of God’s! He and I are on speaking terms, we talk, we have a relationship, and a friendship, and it’s up to me how deep i want to take that! So He not only desires to be a part of every area of my life, but He allows me to move through this relationship on my terms?!?!?! Whoa...The thing i’m thinking, is i’m just human, i’m gonna mess it up just like i mess everything else up when i try to do things on my own accord! Yikes, He must love me a whole heck of a lot to do this at the snail’s pace i’ve set before Him...all i’m learning is that He really doesn’t require much...that maybe the 20 something years i’ve been immersed in this faith has actually taken me further away than realizing the simplest of beauties is right in front of me...so pure, so rich, and so full of the most amazing blessings, if only i just accept that Great Loss, God endured by choosing to give His son so we wouldn’t have to face the end that was set up for us...that death doesn’t actually mean death at all, but the start of life, itself...true life, forever of the most amazing life we could ever imagine....and He asks nothing of us but to just believe that He did it for US!!! I don’t think it gets any cooler than that right there, if that doesn’t give you a glimpse of JOY, i don’t know what will. There is something to be said about having the bottom taken out from underneath you that will bring you to the very breaking point of forgetting everything else you “thought” mattered, and dumps you right back to the basics of what it came down to in the very beginning! Doesn’t that make you wanna share this friendship? I sure wanna make sure i’m good and close to the God who know’s what’s before me, and behind me, and beside me and who know’s how to fix the world of damage i manage to find myself in the middle of. It makes me pretty darn thankful, and i really want to Praise a God who has the kind of power to fix it all and still bless me through it....but those blessings i think, are in the journey of finding that closeness...discovering the heart of who God is, what He wants, and what He desires for us as His Beloved!

ps. Hope you can make sense of what's going on in my head...just felt like i had to share it!
p.p.s. The boys and I are good, trying to keep busy, praying spring will come before we either Freeze, or go crazy! haha!


  1. Dear Melissa, Corban and Keegan:

    You say it so well!!! I know I haven't posted a comment for some time; but know that I think of you guys a lot. All my love!
    Aunt Debbie

  2. Melissa, you've said it perfectly!! I'm in awe that you've learned all this at your oh-so-young age! All these truths have only sunk into my heart and soul in recent years. (OK, so I'm a slow learner!! LOL).

    God bless you and keep you and make His very face shine in joy all over you!!!

  3. Melissa,

    What a wonderful prayer to say in the morning. I usually manage a "good morning, Lord," but adding your bit about joy onto it seems to me like a very, very good thing.

    Hang in there. Winter's got to end soon. (Written while snow blows madly about the house, obliterating everything)

    love to you and the boys,
    Auntie Lorrie

  4. Hi Melissa...thanks for you encouragment to me today..:)I, like Renita, am a slow learner! but am so glad that God is patient and faithful to me, even when I screw it all up. Hugs to you and the boys :)

    Love ya!
    Auntie Dawna

  5. Oh Melissa, how you've come so far! You may have your doubts, but reading your thoughts all I can think is "wow, she's learning"....can you really believe that you're already able to say that you are thankful? That took me much longer than it has you! We hear so many other stories of tragedy, and when we reflect we think, "whoa, we are so thankful for the situation we are in"...never thought when we lost Jacob that I would EVER be able to think I was "lucky" or "grateful" or anything like that. I'm so happy for you and these little steps you keep taking (whether we like it or not, hey!) towards happiness and contentness again. Is it the same happiness as before? Of course not. But it is our new version of happy.

    Hugs, Kerri

  6. My dearest Melissa,
    I am so very proud of you and love you so much, I wish we were closer to help, love to your little boys, they are so precious. Love Auntie Heather