A New Day...

So i think i need to give a 'Thank You' to my Auntie Dawna, who respectfully informed me a few days ago that although she enjoys reading my blog, it was missing the "Me" element! Ok, then it occured to me, a flashback if you will travel with me...to the exact time Colin created this here "blog". We were exhausted from the dozen upon dozens of phone calls and trying to get the word out about what was happening in our world, when Colin's mom suggested we create a blog to have a detailed account straight from the source on all the details. Then we only had to share it once, and whoever wanted to find out could read the facts. I remember sitting down at the computer with Colin, i was sitting on his lap, while he was fussing with the template and the color font and background. Weird. It's so weird how tiny little details come flooding back seeping with so many specific little things that i can remember. It's like it's palpable...i can remember everything that happened in those moments. It's been an entire year since Colin had his relapse, which has affected me in a whole other dimension i never really thought it would. I remember what i was doing when deep down in my heart of hearts, i knew that the cancer was back. Even though it was 2 weeks after that, that we had gotten rediagnosed...The second time around was the most intensely horrific and painful thing i have ever experienced...it's those flashbacks i almost have to choose not to relive, because i find myself spiraling into a tailspin of pain, and it stings more than i want it to. I think it's good though...those memories keep me grounded in the very real fact that all we have is this day in front of us...i need not worry, i don't think i can have that tug-of-war with a God who so perfectly takes care of all of the details in my world with little to no need for me at all! BUT that HE chooses me, little ol' me, He wants to show me His love in each day and use me for His purposes to love so deeply those around me! What an honour! I remember thinking so many days in the hospital how refreshing it would feel to just be able to be a friend, to love with nothing holding me back, those around me! There was nothing i wanted to do more than love the way people were loving us! Now i get to do that, everyday!!!! That is the biggest blessing and God has given in this recovery process~such a gift! I love seeing each day as an open door, endless possibilities, makes me smile with all the adventures that await us!
Anyhoo, i'll see what i think about this new Blog layout, seemed fittingly springy, hope the weather follows suit!
Love Melissa