So...How bout that weather hey?! hehe, ya i'm thinkin this winter is getting a little old as we round out the end of MARCH!!!! But, as the snow fell at the beginning of this week, my boys have been such good sharer's of the nasty chest cold going around! It was a good quiet week to stay home and get them back to 100%...well mission accomplished with Corban, he's back at school today, but my poor little Keegan is a few days behind him, still fighting a high fever and laboured breathing..he always gets it worse, this too shall pass! Lots of fluids and even more cuddles should do the trick just nicely! Seeing as how the stretch from January until now has been some of the longest i've covered so far, i thought that this latest bout of sickness would make me miserable...but i'm learning a really valuable lesson...it's more of a gift than anything else.
I think i've been going about this concept of God's Plan for my life all wrong, or just a little backwards. I always think in future tense..."I wonder what God has for my future, where He's going to take me?!" but it just occured to me that each day is all I have. Every moment i'm awake and breathing is God's future for me...an unfolding plan. My purpose. What an unsettling thought...In God's mind, He has such dreams for each moment i'm breathing but when JEsus was sent in our place to die for all the crap in this world, God's beloved people suddenly also were blessed and cursed with a choice. A free will to decide how we want to shape our each and every day. I'm convicted by how much time i waste busying myself with tasks when i have the blessing of being at home with my boys, or when i have the choice to wake up with a smile and thank God for the coming day, and instead i, "put on my grumpy pants" (as Corban so eloquantly describes it). What rich blessings i'm missing out on, by my own choice...my hat goes off to those single parents and those mom's and dad's who are separated by work that have to hold down the fort alone, it's not easy, but God never ever promised easy. He promised He would walk with us, go before us, carry us...there are so many moments that i look up and think that Colin was my better half in more ways than i can count BUT again, God is reshaping my thinking in removing my need to prove to myself that i can do this...To letting go and giving up that control to HIM! By choosing to be teachable and moldable and submitting to a God who loves me more than i could ever understand or imagine. I need to be honest though, this parenting thing is hard, and on days like the past couple that we've had, it's all i can do to just get through and slump in a pile at the end and count it a triumph that we all survived! God has more...if only i stop and look around...still myself long enough to recieve it. This is a lesson i'm gonna keep trying to get...and when i fall flat, yet again, which i'm guarunteed to do...the beauty of His Grace is sufficient, especially for me! Thank God for that!
ps...i'm on the road of conciously choosing JOY, Thanking God for my days, and i can't tell you the peace, contentment and happiness i have...i'm excited to see what God has for each day...where those "little blessings" come up, they don't seem so little to me anymore, they are the mountain tops of my day! I have a renewed sense of purpose that God can use me, simply just by being open to recieve how i can show His love to the people He has placed in my life, and to my boys...it's not gonna be perfect, but all i have is this day, and all God asks is that i try...so that's what i'm gonna do!
Love, Melissa
I wish I could send you the daffodils that are growing in my yard, sunny and yellow. Spring will soon come in a flurry in your neck of the woods, too. But this winter has been long - a winter of the soul. But to that season, too, spring comes, watered by God's goodness and joy.
ReplyDeleteChoosing joy is a powerful attitude. I've found that it often comes when I'm thankful - for the little things in life - sunlight streaming through my window, the chirp of birds, a piece of dark chocolate, a cup of hot tea, a call from someone I love.
Moments...they are all we have. Have you heard of Ann Voskamp? She recently published a book called "one thousand gifts." She also has a blog "http://aholyexperience.com." I put up a link on Facebook to a short video she did. If you have time, take a look, it's beautiful and it relates entirely to what you've just written. I put it up yesterday, so it should be easy to find.
love you,
A. Lorrie
Once in a while on those days when I too feel like falling in a slump at the end of it, I find myself drawn to your blog. It's such a blessing to find your words on here Melissa and the truth in them. Bryan is gone so much I often feel like a single mom and it does get me down. I think of you often and the attitude of trust and joy that you choose, and it's often the little reminder I need that I can do this, and do it joyfully! Thankyou for putting it so beautifully as you always do and for confirming what I know in my heart to be true- there is joy to be found in each and every moment if I choose to see it:) Bless you!
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