So, i have a confession to make, these next two posts have been previously written out on my kids contruction paper upstairs in bed...it seems that i still have issues with my sleeping or lack there of...and i refuse to use the word insomnia, cuz i just don't like the way it sounds...i'm just having some problems falling asleep at times. (I think when i write it out, it sounds more like denial, but i'm ok with that!)
So anyhoo, late at nite is usually when my mind is racing i get so many things that settle in my heart, so i use the time to mull it over and pray about what God wants to show me...so here's some stuff that i've been thinking about in my late nite quests for sleep!

We all have a story. A story to which is distinctly our own. Have you ever wondered when you are stopped at a red light, what the person in vehicle next to you is going thru?! I do, i thought about it all the time when our life stopped and we began fighting cancer. I used to think that if we, in our twenties, supposedly in the prime of our lives with an open road of possibilities ahead, could have our world haulted so abruptly, i can't imagine the pain and suffering happening all around me or in the same breath the happiness and joy as well! That very thought changed me...it caused me to think before i reacted in impatience or anger and extend grace and love because i just will never know what is going on in the lives of those around me...because i can relate, somedays it goes SO much deeper than just a bad day! The cliche saying of how when babies are born and at the same time people are taking their last breath...i thought of this the day Colin died. On the saddest most devastating day of my life, that very day was the most beautifully amazing day in someone else's. One's perspective of reality is directly affected by what's going on around them. It's in these specific season's of life that God uses to shape who we are and who He has dreamed for us to become! The pain doesn't last forever...blue skies do come, but no matter what the weather or season in life, i think the key is to keep looking UP for our direction and keep praying like mad that we are covered in His Almighty Hands of protection no matter how good or bad life gets.
One sunny day in June of 2009, God took my Grandma home to Heaven and a few short hours later our little miss Myla (my niece) was born. What JOY in it all. Of knowing that one dearest loved one had finished her race and one sweet little girl was just beginning. God, in all of His infinite wisdom knew the JOY and celebration and He so strategically put this all in such rich and amazing perspective for our family. Looking back my heart is so full of thanks and my eyes have tears of knowing the comfort in God's perfect timing. On that day in June, only God knew the road we were all about to travel, that in August of that same summer everything would dramatically change. He had such a special way of using little Myla as this incredible ray of sunshine in our darkness, and together with all of our kids, we focused on the amazing promise of God's brightest future for each one of them, celebrating every little milestone and soaking in all the love and simplicity that each of our kids had to offer! What a blessing!
I can't say enough about my family, but it takes pretty darn special people to drop everything and do whatever is needed to carry us thru...and with such close knit friends surrounding us, we were all able to come through carrying each other on the other side!
I can never repay you for being there; i am and always will be eternally grateful..and i will never be the same because of your love! It's because of you that only solidifies my conviction that there is a very real God and even though bad things do happen in this, our fallen and broken world, He loves us so very much! The exciting thing is this love that i have experienced is only the tip of the ice berg!!!!