Sunday, June 12, 2011

Heartbreak is a powerful thing...but i think the stigma that sticks with having your heart broken is that is always has to be an unbelievably painful experience. I have to disagree. What i have come to realize is that having your heart broken brings me to this amazing place of being desperate for anything i can gain in my relationship with my Jesus. Its sad that it’s those painful points if we so choose to use them for growth are the one’s that bring us to the feet of Jesus...i think that was one of the biggest lessons going through Colin’s battle with cancer and how it broke down every wall of comfort and normalcy...i learned to live in that constant state of desperation for setting my sites on Jesus because nothing else matters. If my eyes are focused, somehow i’m not so surprised at the tough stuff in life. He gives me this ability to weed out what really doesn’t matter and feed me with the life lessons that i need to learn and grow from. No verse in the Bible ever promised an easy ride...there were no promises of things being painless...but we do have thousands of promises that HE is with us, and won’t ever allow us to go through it alone, HE promises to guide and protect us from the dangers of what comes to prey on our broken hearts! I am so thankful that i have a constant safe haven. Somewhere to hide and know that there is a God who cares enough to shield me from the depths of hurt that can accompany that dreaded heartbreak. Now, i’m not so afraid of it anymore...i’m realizing that there’s something so safe in just fixing my eyes on Jesus and allowing HIM to sort through the rest of my life. It’s a freeing feeling to be desperately clinging to the only One who has the control in the first place. Free’s me to look around and see so many blessings all around me!
What an honor it was to be apart of our local Relay 4 Life a few weeks ago...our team was really our family...our closest support system of people who carried us through our cancer battle. It was just so fitting to be there, laughing and talking and reliving old memories when life was just simple and fun! And Oh yes, although some had to go sleep to be functioning parents the next day, we appreciated any time from the one’s we love!!! There were 7 of us that stayed awake the entire nite, and let me tell you, i am remotely young still, but honestly...I am not so cut out for all-niters anymore! I guess that’s what kids to do a person! Hehe! It was this beautiful event that emcompassed celebrating the lives of loved one’s and remembering the most amazing people that we miss so desperately each day! My favourite moments were talking to Colin’s best friends and reliving all of those cool old memories that we had over 10 years ago!
I am the luckiest girl in the world...Well, i choose to see as God’s blessing me with friends whom i’ve had in my life since i was in the early years of grade school...not everyday i get to look around and see all those who are close to me have been close to me since i was young....we are truly family now...those people who dropped their lives and put everything on hold to carry Colin and I and our boys...i will say it till the day i die, i am forever grateful and pray God’s richest blessings over each one!
How cool is it, that my family is completely surrounding me....literally, my parents live a few blocks one way and Andy and Nat a bit more than a few blocks in the other direction. My family is one in a million and i look forward to being able to have a random family BBQ on a warm Sunday nite....i’m full, in every sense of the word...filled to the brim of God’s goodness and mom’s great cooking!
This coming week will be Corban’s last week of Kindergarten and it’s hard to believe summer is here and soon, Grade 1 and full time school will come for my little sweet boy! I pray the time doesn’t pass by too quickly...so i can just soak him in! My little Keegie bear is already ripping up and down the street on his big boy bike with training wheels, not even 3 yet, and he’s following hard in his big brother’s footsteps, has to do everything the big boys do!
Anyhoo, i should go...only have a bit of down time before i will fall asleep standing up if i’m not careful...boy oh boy....boys make u tired, but i guess it is kids in general!
Ok! Happy Sunday or what’s left of it
I won’t let it go this long before i write again!
Love, Melissa

2 comments:

  1. Hi Melissa!! Great encouraging post!! thanks :) Hugs to you and the boys...your welcome to come to the farm for a great summer bbq anytime :)

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  2. Hi Melissa,

    Good to hear that you are doing well. Thanks for your thoughts on hurt and heartbreak - there are many different types of pain and keeping our eyes on Jesus is the only way to get through it well.

    Love from your BC family

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