Thursday, September 2, 2010

Candid Thoughts

I can't believe how fast this week has flown by! Here i think i have an entire week to prepare for Corban's first day of school and it's fast approaching! I have heard so many mom's being in that same place over the last few weeks and to all of you moms out there who have sent your babies off to school or high school or college, i admire your strength and courage, and pray i have the same when the day comes. There's comfort in knowing we are not alone and that so many mommy's have walked this path and are there to offer all sorts of wisdom and advice!
I am quickly learning the power that stress has on the human body....something that you can't see, only feel the effects of, kinda like God's Spirit and His power, but totally negative;) I guess the adrenaline and fast-paced life of Colin's last few months is now finally catching up....whoa, headaches have been my body's way of showing stress, which was good cuz i can push through a headache but the last 5 days of a bad headache slowly turned into a migraine which was like none i've ever had so far! Today, i'm am SO thankful that i am pain-free from that nasty headache! We've been out to the park and had a picnic on the driveway when we came home, and the best part is that the boys are having a "good, well-behaved" day, well, so far...i won't say an entire day until i see it happen. lol!
Sadly, i am coming to realize that my days of having that one or two or maybe three cups of AMAZING coffee in the morning, are dwindling...over the past year, i have become quite attatched to my coffee's each day, they were the only constant routine item in our whirlwind life....and i often wondered when my body would say, enough coffee for a's easy to stop drinking it when the instant i drink it, my stomach starts a small wildfire! Not sure what to do with that one, but i've written it on my "to ask" at the Doc when i go...ok, so enough information, i have been pretty candid, so i'm gonna stop now....I don't want this to sound like i'm complaining, no wait, let me reread it first....
ok so i just read it thru and it's all here, real and in truth with how we're living right now, so no need to change it...
whoa, my journal is laying open on the desk in front of me and i just read a portion of Ps 23: "Yea, though i walk through the valley of the shadow of death, i will fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me". Just like that tears freely flow cuz this portion of Gods word was what Colin constantly repeated the night before he passed away...for me the meaning of this verse is just how God takes us to the mountain by routing us thru the valley ~ He guides us right into His presence and for Colin, he was guided right into heaven's gates to be home with Jesus! The power of God to take any ounce of fear away from was inspiring to be apart of that, and see God so alive in those moments. Since then i see God's power to take away my fear, to ease our pain, and to erase my worries. I am reminded again to "just breathe" God is gonna take us through the rest and handle the details along the way. I sure hope my mountain comes....I can only imagine what an amazing mountain top Colin is on....we miss you sweetie...our thoughts are consumed by the amazing example of Christ you were, and how you loved so fully and so deeply, we are SO very blessed to have been on the recieving end of that love!
Love, Melissa


  1. I was reminded today just how much of an inpact Colin's life had when I read the Moose Jaw paper and there is the sports section was an article about Colin, his history with the school and a summary of his life and passing. As I write this, I'm crying again - I've never been so proud of one of my Clipper "boys" as I am of Colin, who he became and how his life AND death continue to point people to God. I'd love to send you the article so you can see it too! (I got 3 copies so I could save at least one.) I just need your new address.... you can email me at - probably the best way to get me that info.

    I continue to read your blog and pray for you and the boys. I know next week will be hard when Corban goes to school but you know, every 1st day of school is hard for me - even now:) You'll get through it too - cling to the promises of Scripture - Lamentations 3:21-24. God will be there!!

  2. Melissa...We all know how you feel! It never ends! Judah has been to school for 3 days now and I can't get the little guy out of my mind. I finally feel better everyday when I hear that he is safely home. The first few days always suck when you have to trust someone sooo dear to you in the care of others, but time will relax you. You will enjoy your one on one time with Keegan (he will miss Corban too) And, you will all re-unite at the end of the school day and appreciate each other even more! Love ya! Kelly

  3. Hi Melissa. I guess we're one of your new neighbors now. Sorry that we haven't connected as of yet. I hope that will happen soon. You folks did stop and chat with us a bit a few weeks back when you were moving in. You truly are blest having them so close and in your life.
    I haven't read all your blogs but they are such a blessing. Thanks for sharing yourself in this way with others. You have the gift of being transparent with others which is not only healing to you, but others. We will continue to pray that God will give you strength and healing each day and comfort and protect you and your boys. That is true that when you are coming down from the height of your emotional situation things tend to catch up on you physically. Don't give up, keep strong and we'll pray for you to that end. We hear you.

    We want you to know that you are living in a safe place and as neighbors you can call on us anytime, ring our doorbell if you need us. I hope that we can maybe catch up with you soon.

    Gerhard and Hilma Brost

  4. Missing Colin too. He has left a mark on our hearts forever.
    Luv ya
    Chelsey Welwood