Friday, May 21, 2010

Just Plain Out of Answers...

well, i honestly thought the next time i would post a blog update was with a lot more answers than i am. WOW, to be honest we are right back at the beginning, so to speak. Colin and all of his weird symptoms is causing much confusion amoungst the Doc's. They honestly have no idea what to tell us. Aside from the fact that at this point in our journey, the option of transplant is not our decision to make. They have put everything on hold regarding transplant. What we do know about Colin's condition is that unless he is heavily medicated, he is in constant pain. He has been this way since the beginning in March of this time. This concerns them because at this point they need to be seeing steady improvement with the lymphoma responding to the chemo, from last MRI 2 weeks ago, there has been no change, the big question is whether the chemo is making him more sick or the lymphoma in the brain is continuing to make him sick, it's a level teeter totter right now, and both are fighting against each other, and poor Colin is in the middle miserable. He is tired, we all are tired of not knowing. We put our faith in these Doc's to know what to do, and now that they don't it makes us nervous about the decisions they make, are just trial and error at this point. More importantly we are at the feet of God our Healer, and we know this is where He knows best, and where ONLY HE can intervene! We are praying for clarity, that God will bring answers and the Doc's will have a way to figure this out and get us moving forward. We do PRAISE GOD for answering our prayers, we have been praying for God to open and close doors and to go before us and guide us, HE HAS... we know that we have to wait....we don't have the options we had a few days ago.....we may have the options again in the future...but for now, we are being so literal in taking it one day at a time. Honestly, believe us when we say we are frustrated, but we are strangley at peace. God is SO evident in HIS guidance, that we are in full TRUST that HE will continue to walk before us in this process. It's so weird, but so wonderfully comfortable to be being held by our Powerful God.
Please pray for Colin, he is tired, tired of medication and the "fog" that comes from it, he is tired of his symptoms and of being in pain, pray that the Almighty Arms of God wrap him so tightly and that he can be in comfort and in peace, he does have that peace that God is in control, but this is so physically draining.
Thank you for being patient, i didn't want to leave our updates too long, and i thank you for your continued prayers, GOD IS SO GOOD....we cannot say it enough. For now, they want to move forward with chemo tomorrow, their fears are if they stop to see if the chemo is making him sick, that the cancer will grow with vengance and they don't want to risk Colin's life, but they need to see noticeable changes in the lymphoma and so they will continue to do more testing every few weeks, to see what the concer continues to do, for now, it's no worse or better.
That's all we know, and for the next few weeks, that's not going to change.
i'll make sure i keep you posted on how Colin is doing....
Have a great long weekend!
Wish i had better news to share!
Luv, Melissa


  1. Psalm 27 keeps coming to mind for you guys tonight, I've been praying it for you and wanted to share ... it begins with "The LORD is my light and my salvation - whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life - of whom shall I be afraid? When evil men advance against me to devour my flesh, when my enemies and my foes attack me, they will stumble and fall. Though and army besiege me, my heart will not fear; though war break out against me, even then will I be confident." ... and the last verse reads "Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD."

    Aching for your circumstances tonight, praying for grace and strength and deep, deep rest and peace for Colin over the weekend. It's always darkest before the dawn ... a terrible cliche, but very true. God has been with you in the light, and he is there in the midst of the darkness. You are not alone, not ever.

    Blessings always,
    Lisa and Jeff

  2. Keep up the good work you guys! At every opportunity you give honor and praise to God. You are making a tremendous impact in the lives of all who read your blog. Not many could be so transparent while continuing to rejoice in all circumstances. May you be carried from strength to strength as you are worshiping Him in spirit and in truth. You are so faithful and He will keep you.
    Holding you up in prayer,
    Lisa F.

  3. Dear Colin & Missy:

    You are constantly in my thoughts and prayers.

    Love you
    Aunt Debbie

  4. Colin, Missy and family - you are all in our thoughts and wish we could do more to help but know that sending our love is all we can offer you right now. We are amazed at the strength and courage your family exhibits during this difficult journey, and we are willing to help out whereever we can. Love, Shan & Will