Sunday, June 27, 2010

Hopefully a Good Night..

Once again i marvel at the encouragement and support of so many. There are no words, we are so thankful for your your support. God knows when we need to lean, and He has sent so many for us to lean on. What a day and what a great ending, your prayers have been answered....Colin is resting comfortably upstairs in our bed...i made sure he stayed in bed all day and loved ones came to him, to save his strength and alleviate the stress on him. Palliative Care changed his pain meds to a constant drip, the drugs are strong, but he was pain free for most of the day, God so graciously answered our prayers. Today was such a great day, we laughed and cried and prayed and loved the people who came to see us, Colin just mentioned to me how thankful he was that our loved one's have come and made time to share with us today! We both realize our days are numbered, but i know we do have at least a few left, so we make sure each day we have some funny when the Doc's told us with the new pain meds that he would be hallucinating, but they are more like little side tracked points in conversation that don't make sense. We have laughed about those little things, and Colin is even joining in because he knows how random his thoughts have been, i think it's cute. His little laugh that comes up, with the combination of his face not moving, the sound is so refreshing, just little shoulder shakes and belly giggles, i love being apart of that! Today we are reminded to be thankful for the little time he has left, because the suffering will be much and we want JESUS to take him and fully restore him like only our Savior can. Colin is peacfully he is not able to really have any mobility with his hands at all, just more signs of deterioration, but his mind and his beautifully kind and loving spirit are very much here and we are soaking in those precious moments with him. Speaking of which, i want to go up to bed to be with him, even when he sleeps i love just having him in bed with me, close, i want to hold on to these times!
I read your comments and encouragement to Colin each day, he cries at the generousity of our huge Body of Christ and beyond, what amazing people we are privileged to know and how amazed we are for those who we don't know to even take the time to follow our journey....Thank you!
Sweet Dreams, i pray we have a restful night, i don't know how many more sleepless ones i can handle! That's where i end and God begins:) Acutally, these days it's just God doing the work..i'm just along for this bumpy ride.
Luv, Melissa


  1. May God grant you both sweet and restful sleep. Today in church we sang "Blessed be his name, though I'm found in the desert place, though I walk through the wilderness, blessed be his name." And I thought of you both and your faithfulness. God's grace is very evident in your lives just now.

    Auntie Lorrie and Uncle Tim

  2. Hey there, we just want you to know how much we love you, pray for you, and are crying with and for you to our God. He is great, of this there is no doubt, and you both are reflecting this in such a mighty way, but we feel your pain too, and we just wish we could help. You are loved and thought of and prayed for often by the both of us. Lots of love, Brandon and Kim

  3. Praying for a wonderful sleep for both of you!

  4. Almost 12 years ago I remember a visit in Lethbridge from your parents and yourself. I was in such pain and disbelief, yet can not begin to imagine what you are going through, you and your two precious little boys. I wanted to share a verse from a card I received, one I hope you share with Colin.

    A remarkable man is gone now,
    and this world seems
    a little lessened somehow
    because he is not part of it...
    a little less wise and great,
    a little less good and brave.
    May it help to know that he
    will never be forgotten
    by those whose lives he touched.

    Love you all,


  5. We are praying for peaceful moments for you both and precious times to create more meaningfull memories. You are both such a testimony of God's love for us all!
    Cheryl and Tyler Schulz

  6. To Colin, Missy, Darlene, Neal and your whole family. We have prayed for you all daily. Your faithfullness to God is an inspiration, We weep as we read your thoughts and admire your strength. God is GOOD and WILL carry you all. WOW! You are an amazing woman Missy!Thank you for sharing your life with us this past year, you are all muched loved by our family. Blessing and prayers always, from Ron & Erin Martens

  7. We are continuing to pray faithfully for you. May God fill you with his peace and give you strength each hour. Praying for a good sleep for all of you. Thanks for sharing with us.
    Rod and Conny

  8. Hi Colin and Missy,
    We just wanted to let you know that you are in our thoughts every moment of the day. You thank others for their encouragement, but its your strength and love for eachother that is even more of an encouragement to your friends and family. You have laid such a strong and loving foundation for your sons, which will continue to carry them through their lives. We hope you are able to have a good night tonight and find peace in eachother's arms. We send you much love, Tanya and Ryan (Colin's cousin in BC :) I know its been awhile since we visited last)

  9. I Found a note I wrote in my bible a while back today and it seemed to fit... God never allows our hearts to be shattered without excellent reasons and eternal purposes. I can't even begin to imagine what reason or purpose would be worth what you're going through, but I know with all my heart that we serve a God who's mercy and love is never-ending and never-failing.
    Thank you for sharing your journey and your hearts with us. You are amazing witnesses for Christ...
    I'm so glad that the pain seems to be subsiding and that you were able to find pockets of joy in your day... We're continuing to pray of course...
    Love Beckie Muirhead

  10. When this life on earth has past and my time has come to face my savior I shall be more then willing to stand and answer the call. Life that has past is merely the beginning of eternity with Jesus as a member of his army to serve the Lord. Peace is present and pain has past to allow the joy to be fully appreciated.
    I will then be where I am meant to be, free from the pains of illness.

  11. Colin & Melissa,
    We are proud to have you as part of our family. You have taught us a lot about persevering as a Christian in time of crisis. Your faith and trust is an encouragement to us. We continue to pray that the pain will be bearable and the moments you have together will be precious and full of many great memories. God WILL carry you in His arms.
    Uncle Jim & Auntie Lin Willms

  12. Dear Colin & Melissa:

    You have been in my thoughts and prayers, daily, since your journey began almost a year ago.

    You are truly an amazing couple. Your love for each other; your never ending faith in God; your courage; dignity; and at times, humour; have inspired me more than you will ever know.

    Melissa, you will see Colin every day, in your beautiful little boys.

    I love you, Colin, Melissa, Corban and Keegan, with all my heart!!

    Aunt Debbie

  13. Praying for a good night sleep for you both as tomorrow is a new day that is made for new memories.

    Your friend,
    Deanne Newman

  14. Wow! How life can change in less than a year! Your family has been thru so much struggle, agony, & pain; your strong faith & love for God has been an inspiration to me, as well as many others, I'm sure. You have been constantly in my prayers & will continue to be, as the road ahead will be difficult, but I know God will provide your needs every day, so live one day at a time leaning on Him & for now, treasure each precious moment while you are still able to be together here on earth knowing that eventually you will all be reunited-----what hope! But those of us left behind still need to travel this earth for a while with some struggles. God has blessed you with a group supportive family & friends that will help you thru this. My prayer is that Colin's remaining time here may be peaceful & minimum pain; Missy, that you stay strong in the Lord & lean on Him each day for guidance & wisdom with raising your precious sons; that they may have good memories of their Dad & some understanding of what is happening. Keep those memories alive by talking of him often! You are motivated to do you best because of them.
    It was almost one year ago that you were diagonsed, Colin, I believe on the day my husband, Raymond, went to his heavenly home, as he was being prepped for a bone marrow transplant which did not happen. I am glad he is now complete & healed rejoicing in His Saviour's presence, although we miss him. Because of similar situation, you have been so close to my heart. But you are so much younger with a young family. Every day my verse of comfort & strength is "His grace is sufficient, His mercies are new every morning!" You will be able to hang onto those "Precious memories", as I'm doing this evening by listening to the southern gospel music that was so much a part of our lives together, which is so uplifting because it focuses on the hope of our heavenly home!! My prayers will continue for all the family--may God be your strength!!
    Colin, we can only imagine what rejoicing there will be in heaven at your graduation, complete & painless. We miss our loved ones, but rejoice with you.

    Love & prayers
    Henny Ohlmann

  15. Colin and Melissa,

    Thank you so much for posting this blog. My wife and I have been following your progress. Our hearts are so broken for you, words cannot express. Colin, I want you to know that it has been my honor to have known and loved you. I am so proud of you. Your faith journey is an inspiration to me. Please know that Jen and I have been and will continue to pray for the two of you and your sweet boys. I just wish there was more I could do. I love you Bud.

    Your youth pastor, brother in Christ, and friend,
    Mike Froese

    Mike Froese

  16. God's mercies are new every morning. We are so thankful for this! Praying for grace and comfort today, as two wise human creatures praise their Creator - sending much love,

    Lisa and Jeff

  17. Hi again,

    I just wanted to thank you Missy for updating this daily. I know that you would like to spend every moment you can with your family and it really means a lot that you take the time to do this. I have been thinking of you all every day and I am glad that you are finding those happy moments. Please let Colin know I am thinking of him.

    Nicki Engel

  18. Colin and Melissa

    I am really at a loss for words but I really wanted to write something...I am very saddened to hear of this battle that you are facing and have been facing for some time now and only heard about it a couple of days ago. Regardless of the distance or time that has passed since our 'Clipper' days it was so hard to find and read this blog but at the same time so encouraging to hear of your courageous faith and eternal perspective in the midst of it. Thank you for reminding me of what is important in these days. I want you to know that we are thinking and praying for you as is our church here in Zurich Ontario and my fellow staff at Hockey Ministries International.
    Jamie and Lea anne Ramer

  19. We have shed many tears, thinking of you dear ones and God's amazing presence and power in your lives.
    I have been listening to a song, Jesus Will Meet You There, by Steven Curtis Chapman from his album Beauty Will Rise and what an amazing message for whatever we are facing in this life. Jesus will be with us.
    Have a great day together as a family.
    We Love You
    Joyce (+ Bob too)

  20. thank you Melissa for your beautiful updates - I'm sure it's hard to put your thoughts into words but for us that are far (in distance) it helps us to pray for you. So thank you!! My heart aches for you at this time and tears come easily but I also know God IS faithful. I cling to that promise for you and pray for daily strength for each day ahead. God will give you just what you need for each challenge that comes. Rest in His love and peace. Please tell Colin we are thinking of him here and are so proud of the man of God he has become!!! Never been so proud of a Clipper!!!

    Joy Foreman.

  21. Colin, it's been years since I last saw you (like 10 years!!) But I just found out about your situation and it breaks my heart. Like others have stated, there are no words to say to make things better, but I just wanted you to know your perspective is incredible. I am praying for you and your family, and trusting Christ to see you and them through.
    Todd Wilkins

  22. Colin and Melissa,
    We just want you to know that you are in our thoughts and prayers daily. Thank-you for sharing this journey with everyone, your courage and faith throughout this has been so humbling. I wish that things were different for your family, but God is so much bigger than all of us and only he knows what he has planned. We love you all and we'll continue to pray.
    Love, Bret and Sheena Wolfer

  23. Dear Melissa and Colin,

    Your blog and your story was shared with me by a mutual friend from Briercrest and though we do not know each other (I think we may have met once), I want to thank you for your willingness to share your heart about what you are going through. I can't even begin to imagine the pain of what you are experiencing and each time I start to, it brings tears to my eyes. You both are such strong people and your love for the Lord seeps through your words on your posts. You have a passion for Christ that is on fire and contagious. I think I can speak for many when your words and your experience show us that we shouldn't worry about the small things in life but be thankful for the people in our lives and each day that we get to spend with them. As well, be thankful for a loving Father who is taking care of us and holding us when we feel that all is lost. I am praying that you will have beautiful moments together, full of laughter, fun, and love that will make lasting memories.

    God's grace to you,

    Courtnay and Josh Mawhorter
    2 Corinthians 12:9-10

  24. Dear Colin and Family,
    My prayers are yours.
    God bless you.

  25. Dear Colin and Melissa and boys - Just wanted to let you know that many, many in our church and beyond are praying for you since we found out about you through Pastor Dave and Jen, and Pastor Steve and Angela, both formerly of Hillcrest. Please be encouraged - yes, our God cares and so do more people than you can imagine! We are following your story, and appreciate so much your open heart here! We love you in Christ! - Leila Hoffman at Highland M.B. Church in Calgary

  26. Colin & Melissa. You are on my heart daily....thank you for your daily posts Melissa, they help me to know how to pray for you! I am so blessed by your love for each other & for your boys. I was thinking the other day about when I got to eat lunch with you at the WPC floor hockey tournament. Remember I said " Holy Cow" to Corbin....and he told me I was not allowed to say that! I have to say "oh my goodness" instead. SO cute...and yet it reminded me what great parents you both are, and how you are instilling great values & even words in your children. Your children will look back one day & called you both blessed. Love you guys! Delynne (& Cole)

  27. Melissa, thank-you for so beautifully sharing your final few days with Colin with us. Our prayers are with you and your family as you celebrate the times you've enjoyed together and mourn the time you won't have. May the Lord show himself as Comforter in the days and years to come. Give our love to Colin.

    From an old Briercrest hallmate,

    Jeremy (& Erin) Thiessen

  28. Colin and Melissa, I just want you to know that you are in my prayers and thoughts daily. I am amazed at the grace and strength God is giving you both each day. HE IS GOOD, ALL THE TIME!! Last week when I was praying for you, I came across this verse and wanted to encourage you with it. Isaiah 41:10 - Fear not for I am with you, Be not dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. I am glad that your family is around you. May our loving Savour be your comfort and strength in these days. HE IS ALL YOU NEED. My love to you both, Karen Braun

  29. Colin and Melissa, Our prayers are with you as you walk through these difficult days. We pray for painfree days for Colin so he can get the most out of the days with your family. We are in awe of the example of God's grace and strength you both have been. We will continue to pray for enough of God's light to shine for whatever steps he has you take each day.
    Our boys were saddened to hear of what you are facing, especially Jonathan as he knows you Colin,from Briercrest days.
    We are praying also for your families as they walk through this with you.
    Glen and Sue, we are always there for you even if it is just to cry with you.
    Love to you all,
    Tim and Val Seitz

  30. You don't know me, you know my folks, Larry and Joan Ballantyne, and my husbands sister is from your church.....different days they told me of your story...and subsequent strength. The peace that is evident in your words is an encouragement to the rest of us reading them, did you know that? The obvious love and devotion you have for one another, and more importantly our Lord and Savior is an example, a challenge to live up to. Thank you for sharing your heart, your lives with us. You will be lift up daily, if not hourly, in prayer by my family and I. Prayers for strength, comfort, peace and yes, even a miracle of healing. God IS so good and loving, hold close to Him, as you are doing. Your sister in Christ,
    Nikki Holloway

  31. Second Cousin Colin and Missy,
    We found out about your situation last year through BBC friends and have been following and praying ever since. We are praying that our God will hold your family near now and in the hard times ahead. The peace and strength your family has is soley from God and we are so encouraged by the love you have for our saviour. Your faith in God's goodness and perfect plan encourages us everyday. Thank you so much for sharing your hearts.

    Caitlin (Barg) + Jordan White

  32. Colin & Melissa,

    Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. You do not know me, but I have read your tender and heart warming! I hope you and your family can make the most of every day. Every life is leant to us, cherish each life, each day like it was the last... Our prayers are with you all.

  33. Melissa and Rat,
    Bet you haven't heard that one in a while Colin! It's your old roommate Slim here, just letting you know you are on my mind constantly and Krissy and I are praying often for you both! So many fond memories with you two at 88 spruce! All of the 120 times we watched Joe Dirt and Bobby and I constantly eating your food out of the refrigerator! HaHa. Many great times with you Colin on the road playing hockey and the games of soccer and softball played with the boys on the nearby field! May God be with you through this difficult journey. God Bless!! Cory Fair

  34. Colin and Missy,
    The love and faith that you have for God and eachother is incredible. And you both are SO brave and strong, it is amazing! I remember you guys always laughing with eachother, you were always so happy. It seems in the hardest of times you guys can keep on laughing is beautiful. Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your families.
    Greg & Brea(Leavins) Friesen

  35. hey colin and Missy,
    Its Chicago. I just found out days ago. I am sorry. I dont know what to say but you are in Gods hands I know. I wish I could come to visit but i am there in spirit. We never hung out too much on Whitt 2 but the times that we did they were some fun times. My prayers are with you.

  36. Colin and Missy,
    Your strength and courage are inspiring and breathtaking. You are in my prayers..... I pray for peace, I pray for courage, I pray for strength, I pray for the pain to be alleviated, I pray for rest for you both, I pray that during this time you would be supported and lifted up by friends and family and that through them, Christ can carry you through this.

    Melissa Gabrielle-From (a Briercrest classmate)

  37. Know that the staff at Stillwood have been praying for you. May God comfort you in this time of need.

    Vanessa Toews

  38. "As long as I live, I will give You all my worship, what I say, who I am, what I do to bring You praise, Every heartache and sorrow I will lift up for Your glory, for You work in mysterious ways, and I will bless Your name."

    I wrote that song on the way home from Calgary, where I was an outpatient and Colin was in the Tom Baker centre. Melissa, you heard it at WOW, and I hope in some small way the melody can give you peace in these days. I'm now setting Psalm 70 (with a hopeful slant) to music with Colin in mind. Praying, singing, holding you both before the Throne.

    Love, Lisa (and Jeff)

  39. I don't know you but came across your blog via Lorrie. I am so sorry to read what you are going through, but you are so brave and doing the very best you can possibly do. We all face this, but none of us think of it until it is happening in our midst. I sat with my Dad a year ago in palliative care after he had a 15-year neurological illness. All that time, or no time at all - it is never enough to get all the loving out, all the stories out, all the life out that you meant to.

    At least you are able to have this brief time, this day, maybe another or two or three. I hope that you will be okay and that Colin does not have a lot of pain and he can feel safe and that he is loved as much as anyone can be. That is an amazing gift we give each other, to love them and to be there with them. It is all we can ever hope out of life, to be adored and celebrated and to die in the arms of our adoring families. You are a wonderful writer and thank you for capturing this for us and sharing your story. I am heart broken for you but also relieved that rest is coming for him and he is so loved.

    Hugs, Terri in Calgary

  40. Missy, When I first met you ate Eagle`s Nest a long time ago, I was struck at how positive and energetic you were. I thought you were a special person. You are! God has made you in His image. You are an amazing mother and wife who is graciously following the path God has mapped for you. I pray you and your family have a restful night. Love and Prayers Suzanne

  41. Colin,

    You have impacted my life in a huge way. I have been forever changed by your faith and courage. Watching your journey has given me such a clear perspective on my own life. You will hear it from Jesus himself but let me say it first. Well done, good and faithfull one. Thank you Colin.
    Cory Both

  42. Dear Colin, Missy and Family,

    Hi, this is Tabitha, Brad's sister-in law. I came across your blog via Taegen.

    I wanted to let you know that my husband Dennis and I have been praying for you and your family since we heard the news. We have been praying that God will give you peace and comfort and strength at this time. We also pray he will give you abundatly more than you could ever ask for and imagine. God is so good and with Him all things are possible. Our hearts and thoughts go out to you daily.

    God Bless You.

    Tabitha Maljaars

  43. Colin and Melissa,

    I just want to let you know that my wife Amber and I have been praying for you constantly. You have the prayers from our Church at the Christ the King Assembly as well. I know Colin is a warrior. He has definately impacted my life even from the very day we met in Briercrest, being 4th line Clipper linemates together (great times). Always had a great smile on his face even when we didnt get much ice time on some games. lol From the time spent in Caronport to the Estevan Bruins try-outs to playing Rec hockey here in Medicine Hat, its been a blessing to have Colin be a part of my life. May the peace and love of God blanket you and the boys. Stay stong and we both love you, Colin and the boys.

    Love, Justin and Amber Scott

  44. Dear Colin and Missy

    Wow - where do I start. I have so many mixed emotions in this whole year long process. Getting to know your entire family has been a blessing...I am so proud to have become so close with you in such a short time through recruit training - and yet so scared when Colin became ill back in August 2009. Will and I are not very religious, but we have prayed for you and your family since the beginning, and this has allowed us to be more open to faith and God and everything he looks for and wants in life - so thank you for that. I am thankful for so much from recruit training - including just a really good friend to bounce things off of when needed, and a good laugh when able!! Those four months were the most trying and fun and hard times of my life, and I am pleased to have shared them with such amazing people - and to have gotten to know Colin and became a footprint in his matter how small. There are no words for the emotion my heart feels for Missy and your two beautiful boys in this process...but hearing the words that are written on this post by Missy gives me a strange sense of acceptance with this whole process that emitts through the words and prayers. I can't imagine what your family is feeling right now...but I can tell you all that I love you all in such a special way and wish I could do more to "fix" it or help out - which is the part I struggle with - the feeling helpless! I pray that each day continues to be the blessing it is intended, and that each blessing brings more joy and wonderful memories to each and every one of you from this day forward. I will miss Colin in so many ways - but I will never forget him and the profound impact he and all your family has had on my life - so THANK YOU! I continue to follow your journey every day and pray for the little momments to be wonderful and vast. We love you all!
    Love Shanda and Will Glover

  45. Your journey has amazed me, you two are so strong, in love for each other and for the Lord. Praise God that He gave you to Colin and Colin to you. It's apparent that He couldn't have paired up a better two people to face this together. You are both a testament to God's love and how, through Him, you are able to trust and love and truly enjoy every moment He gives you to share. It seems neither of you wasted much time on the "why us" and anger that can come in these situations. No, you have both embraced God's will, and treasured what you have while you have it. Through it all, your Christ like attitudes and example have been a gift to the rest of us, a gift to the world. I'm humbled...
    Praying for you daily with so many others,
    Michelle Isaak

  46. Colin and Melissa,

    We ache with you as you navigate this road. You've both been so strong through all this. I wish I could do something to help... I can't find the right words... If there is ANYTHING we can do, please let us know.

    Robin and Kirsty Kurpjuweit

  47. Dearest Missy,
    Every day we pray for you ~ I pray that you can feel the love of God wrapping you tightly in His arms.
    Shauna Harder

  48. Hi Melissa,

    You don't know me. I am Colin's second cousin. My mom is Colleen Anthony, nee Reimer. I only really met Colin once at a family reunion about, oh, 15 years ago. We were the same age so we hung out together during the reunion. I remember him being a a real gentlemen and yet also a lot of fun. From the posts I've seen it sounds like he stayed that way. I just want to say I am so sorry to hear that he has passed and am praying for you and your family. I hope that you all go on to have a joyful life as I imagine he would want you too. Is there anywhere I could see some pictures of you and your family. I live in Russia so I miss out on all the family goings on and would like to know a little about your family if you have the time when things settle down.

    God Bless,