Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Such a Precious Gift

Honestly, i don't know how to begin this post....i just finished reading the 46 comments of our friends, family and so many loved ones to Colin here in our bed. Our hearts are SO full of gratitude...we literally feel filled up with love and encouragements, and God has used each one of you to strengthen us for the fight ahead. We are in awe...speechless at the generousity and support, where to even begin to find the words of thanks and love that we feel....We have prayed so many times for God to SO richly bless each one of you, and i wholeheartedly believe our prayers will be answered!
With each passing day Colin is requiring more care and it's getting more and more difficult to get him that level of care at home...God knows, and the Doc and nurse were by from Palliative care today and they see the need for Colin to be in a hospital bed. I've been dreading this for some time, i guess the time has just felt like it's gotten away from me, and i've been trying to keep Colin in our bed, for my selfish reasons of just not wanting to let him go....i feel like all i have left is being able to sleep and lay beside him each nite, his arms are not able to wrap around me anymore and although he tries so hard, his kisses are just not the same. So now, we face moving him to a bed that will keep him more comfortable and my number one priority is his comfort, BUT God knows, and the Doc saw how it pained me to have to get to this point so quickly, so he's going to do his best to find me a hospital bed to clamp together with Colin's so we can still be beside each other. What amazing care, and love for others, these Palliative Care people provide, we are so thankful!
Today Colin had a nice long nap this afternoon, and i was able to get my bathing suit on and get into our blow up pool with the kids for a while....i can't believe how cold that water was but how much fun we had...then into the sand box for all sorts of Digger Fun!!! Today, Corban was struggling, we could tell all day he was just holding in his emotions and needing to just have a good cry, but trying to find the appropriate timing to do so, he almost seemed so angry towards me, which made it so hard on me....i just have been struggling to find the balance with and my boys, it just sucks that the two have to be so separate. I just think we thought we'd have more quality of life for Colin left, but he's just not able. AFter i finally grabbed Corban and just hugged him so tight, he just started to cry, and from there i asked him to forgive my having to separate my time between him and Daddy.....i just pray no damage is done and that we can have that open communication that i so desire, he's allowed to have his difficult days, too, we all do. Keegan is also visibly reeling...so clingy with me and not smiling too much, just being tentative with everyone, and just wanting to be held, so he's hitched a permanent ride on my hip for the time being, i hope he can deal with this and find some comfort along the way.
Tomorrow is a new day, and i pray we get Colin's comfort figured out with the bed situation...For now, i need to get my cuddles in and be with Colin while he's bright eyed, it's not always the case for our evenings, so i have to take advantage.
Each day we are so blessed by our support system, and the bigger family we are apart of, thank you and we love each of you!
Luv, Melissa

52 comments:

  1. HI Melissa and Colin:

    I just wanted to let you know about a service in Medicine Hat called AJ's Loan Cupboard 403-580-5580. websitehttp://www.ajsloancupboard.ca/Types%20of%20Equipment.htm
    They loan all kinds of equipment, beds etc to people in need with special needs/pallitive care etc. We used some of their equipment when my Mom had pallative care at home and she never had to be hospitalized because of some of the equipment we were able to borrow from them. God bless you both; and hopefully you can get the equipment you need to keep Colin at home with you.

    Darla Christianson

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  2. Colin and Missy,

    You and your family have constantly been on my mind and in my prayers. I shared a part of your story this morning with my fellow pastors at my church. White Rock Baptist Church is holding your family in prayer. Thank you for your testimony of God's goodness and your amazing faith in these most difficult circumstances. May God's graciousness shower you both in the hours, days and weeks ahead.
    With Love.
    Tyler Crawford

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  3. I can't imagine what you guys are going through - you're strength is an inspiration to us all. We hope you find peace with the cards you have been dealt. We don't know you that well but if there is absolutely anything you need - please don't hesitate to reach out to us. Enjoy your last moments together and God Bless.

    Nicole & Mike Liboiron

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  4. Thanks once again for sharing with us..Your heart Missy is so pure and full of God's love! You are one amazing mommy!! I could not imagine having to balance my time the way you are having to right know..You are amazing and Corban and Keegan are such blessed boys to have you as there amazing mommy! I also am praying that the perfect hospital bed will be avaliable,so you can snuggle colin and be near him for as long as possible! Love you guys and praying!! Hugs!
    Shea and Ashley Jackson

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  5. I pray that God will hold you all very tightly in His arms as you and your family go through this time. I pray that you will continue to feel Gods strength flowing into you filling you, meeting your every need. May God bless you richly tonite with good rest and peace.

    Maibritt Bergman

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  6. MY heart cries for you guys.. but the Loed Jesus has everything under control.. My God bless you and keep you, may his face shine above you and give you peace..


    Dan Chamberlain

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  7. My Dearest Colin & Melissa,

    There are no words to describe the ache in my heart for you both and all your dear loved ones. Jesus was deeply grieved and cried out to His heavenly Father three times for this cup to be taken from Him in the garden of Gethsemane. (Matt. 36-46) I cry out continually to my Father for this cup to be taken from you Colin & Missy and I won't stop. Then as Jesus said, "yet not as I will, but as You will." Then He got up and faced the cross with courage. Jesus is with your every breath and moment. Let Jesus continue to be your courage as He has been this far. I thank God for you both! Love & Hugs, Dorothy Kurpjuweit

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  8. hello Colin and Missy, I admire you both for your strength and courage getting through this major event in your lives. Missy you are a great mother and you will always have a piece of Colin in your boys. Our thoughts and prayers are always with all 4 of you.
    You are both so strong that I beleive your boys will pick up on that, they will amaze you in so many ways.

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  9. Praying for you Colin and Melissa - Thank you for sharing your heart and struggles.

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  10. Colin and Missy

    You two are an amazing couple. Your strength and courage you have both shown throughout this journey is incredible. Thank you for letting me share this journey with you via your blog. It has taught me a few lessons in life.

    My thoughts and prayers are with you each and every day.

    Take care, and if you need anything, please call.

    Holly xoxox

    P.S. Weldon sends his thoughts and prayers to you both. xxx

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  11. Hi, I think you are doing an amazing job with your boys and Colin. I hope you can get the bed so you can still lay next to miss. Miss you all, and love you all. Praying hard.

    Love Jennie and Kris

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  12. Hi Colin and Melissa,

    We have been following your blogs and have been touched by your story. You are such an inspiration to so many people. We pray for you daily and wish God's blessing on your family during this tough time. May He wrap His loving arms around you and allow you to cherish each moment together. You have given us a new perspective on life and we thank you for that.
    Love,
    Janae Edwards & Brent Friesen

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  13. Dear Colin and Missy- I love you guys so much, and many,many times throughout the day I am praying for you, and all of your family as well! For the kaliedescope of emotions running through you both, your faith is so transparent and so inspiring!! I would love to pass this blessing onto you both, it is my favorite blesing which my dad would always tell me.."May the Lord bless you and keep you, may He make His face to shine upon you and be gracious unto you, may He turn His face towards you and give you peace, and much strength in the days ahead".

    Cory Fair (SLIM)

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  14. Colin & Missy,

    Our heart is burdened for you guys in this difficult time. We are continually praying for you all. May the peace of Christ continue to dwell upon and in each of you as you walk through this valley. May you find comfort in the One who has created you and loves you beyond understanding. We are holding you up before the throne of the One who can do ALL things!

    In Christ,
    Mike & Melanie Wall

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  15. Since you left Totem we have lost touch of each other, but I've been reading this since the beginning following your journey. I don't know what to say except that I'm sorry for you both and your family. God's plan is so messed up sometimes, I don't get it. You're both people I wish I could be, for your bravery, your deepest love of each other and your ability to be transparent to let us be part of this and so many things. I won't say good bye, I'll just say see you later. I've never been good with words.
    "Sunshine"

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  16. Dear Colin and Missy,

    You know that we are continuing to pray for you all - that God would grant you his peace and comfort. I pray too that God will protect your boys. They have a wonderful foundation in both of you, and together with the Lord's help, will overcome this.

    Colin, Grandma told me about your chat today. I'm thinking that I just might join you in playing hockey in heaven, since I'll probably be able to skate there.

    loving you both,
    Auntie Lorrie and Uncle Tim

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  17. Our thoughts and prayers are with you all at this time...

    Paul + Jacqui

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  18. Dear Colin and Missy,

    We have been following your blogs and are inspired by how much faith you both have. Your words bring tears to my eyes, not only because it is a sad and difficult thing that you are dealing with but because it makes my heart happy to read the words you write about loving God, and having faith and how you are praying for others still in the most difficult time of your life. We are praying continually that God will give you strength and peace and some more time to be together. We pray for you boys too, that there will be no anger for them, only happy memories and love.
    You both are an inspiration to others, myself included.
    Brett and Barb Gieselman

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  19. Oh man I don't even know what to say.. Most days I only have tears and heart aches for you guys.. Your such an amazing couple and I have always seen that in your relationship and your parenthood.. I know that God is carrying you all through this and I am so thankful for that and will continue to pray for His love, peace, comfort, grace to surround and guide you.. Please if you need anything don't hessitate to call me. I am so thankful for you both and the amazing impact you are making on sooo many people. Jer 29:11 hang on to this Because as much as we think God doesn't know what He is doing HE has a plan.. Although that is a hard thought right now.. Colin you are such a wonderful man of God. thank you for being an example to me and so many.. You guys are great parents. I'm praying for you both and for the kids. Missy you are such an amazing woman and I hope I can be a little bit like you one day.. Threw tears I can't finish. I'm so incredibly sorry this is happining to amazing people. But I am so thankful that God is giving you the power and strength to withstand and get threw this all. Continuing to pray for you all and the needs/struggles that come up. Keep hanging in there. We love you both and your kids so much. Love Jana

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  20. Colin..sending out my thoughts and prayers. Letting you know that all of us at work are thinking of you and your family.
    Chris Wagner

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  21. Hi guys,

    Hope it was a good night and today is a beautiful day. Praying for you both and the boys. Wish we could hug it all better - and then we remember that Jesus CAN, so we pray without ceasing, and ask His presence to saturate you with peace.

    Love, Jeff and Lisa
    PS Simon says he'd love to have Corbin over for a "digger date" anytime.

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  22. We will continue to pray! You guys are amazing, we admire the grace you have displayed through this entire journey. Hope you make even more sweet memories today.

    ~the Coote's

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  23. Dear Colin and Melissa,
    I think of you often throughout the day and pray constantly that God will provide all your needs during this time. When I was going to Sunday School, we learned the chorus "Why worry when you can pray; Trust Jesus, He leads the way...." He's leading, Colin and Melissa--we can see that in your blogs. Thank you for the mighty inspiration you have been to me. Keep hugging your boys when you have a moment for them, Melissa. God will provide understanding in their little hearts.
    Love, Coni Christo

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  24. Just wanting to let you know we are praying for all 4 of you. May God's hand be felt undergirding you in every way. As you've said, 'God is good, all the time!' Even though we don't understand all the pain and difficulty you face, God perfect will and purposes are being accomplished. While there is life, there is still an incredible opportunity for God to touch Collin's body. May God's will be done.
    Blessings,Uncle Doug, Auntie Joan and boys

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  25. Just wanted to say you are constantly in our thoughts and prayers, we pray for you to have God's precious touch upon you all, Melissa I pray for a special time today on your birthday that you will remember that this moment was from God himself, I pray that God will become closer to you all this day, Love to you all and so sorry we are not closer to help. Auntie Heather

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  26. thank you again for your transparency, it really helps us know how to pray!
    This has been an interesting journey of learning what it means to carry one another's burdens. Even though we don't know one another, we just know about each other, I along with many others are carrying your burden even though it is just a small part! I wake at night and pray, I wake in the morning with you both in my thoughts and am confident that my spirit was praying for you even while you slept. It really is a fascinating privilege of being part of the body of Christ.
    As I read about your boys I thought about Ps 91:4 "He will shield you with his wings. He will shelter you with His feathers. His faithful promises are your armour and protection." and Ps 36:7 "How precious is your love O God! All humanity finds shelter in the shadow of your wings." I believe that as God is ministering comfort and peace to you, He is concerned for your little boys and will be faithful to be their comfort and protection as well. I will pray that even while they sleep He will speak peace and comfort to them.
    So, tuck away under His wings and we will pray for you, Colin and the boys through this difficult time.
    In Jesus love,
    Kim and Reg Friesen (Colin's former babysitter :) )

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  27. Hello,
    I am so moved by your strength to write about such pain and sorrow in your life right now. I have two grown "boys" and so I can relate to their little mood swings. Children are resilient, but they are acutely aware of their emotions and what they need. They will be your joy going forward!
    I pray for Colin's comfort. His comfort will be yours...
    My heart is with you all.
    Nancy Walker

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  28. You don't know me (I'm a friend of Brad and Taegan) but I just wanted you to know that I am praying for all of you, and I know that many more in the Central Community Church family are praying for you as well.
    Sonja Dyck

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  29. We're thinking about you often these days and praying that God's hands of comfort will embrace each one of you constantly. What an incredible family you are! We can tell, just from reading your blog, the love and devotion you have not only for each other but also for God...such an inspiration! In continued prayer,
    Scott and Rachelle (Willms) Bey

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  30. I just have to say that you are such a strong, amazing and inspiring family. My thoughts are with you all, and I pray that as difficult as a process that this is, you will all find peace in each moment. I know God has brought you through this far and I can't imagine stronger warriors than you in a battle like this. I will continue to pray for you all.
    Love, Shaye

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  31. Good morning Colin & Melissa! Hope you have an incredible day filled with memories. I am again just so blessed by your love for each other and inspired by your endless strength. Last night I was in your neighborhood and felt God leading me to stop in front of your house & pray for you. I hope your night was full of peace & rest. Hugs Delynne

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  32. Bob & Joyce BartellJune 30, 2010 at 11:15 AM

    Colin & Melissa, thank you for being such a powerful example of practical faith.
    We all know that for everyone of us, our days on earth are numbered. And no one knows when their days will end. Yet it seems that most of us go on living our daily lives as if we will be here forever. Even as believers we seem to live without a practical faith or belief that REAL LIFE will begin after we leave this world.
    You are showing us by how you are living these days, that your hope of life beyond this life is real. Your lives are teaching many, many people the kind of perspective on death and life after death that, as believers, we all ought to have.
    Thank you for demonstrating your faith in such practical powerful ways, and allowing God to use you to teach us.
    We continue to pray for your family and your loved ones.
    Our love,
    Bob & Joyce

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  33. Missy, Praying God gives you the strength to balance being a mom and wife, the wisdom to know what to say when talking with your boys and for His grace and peace fill you up :)

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  34. Colin and Melissa,
    PLEASE forgive me for not writing sooner. This is actually the first time i've read your blog. I've so selfishly been trying not to read it because I knew what it contained and I have had so much trouble accepting it. This whole thing is so devistating. Missy, you are facing my greatist fear - and you are doing it with such strength and faith. I admire you. Colin, my cousin, growing up with you was a blessing. Seeing you at family events was always fun - except when you were being annoying :0) I'll never forget those moments. Chris and I are constantly thinking and praying for the both of you. I am crushed that this is happening. Missy i pray that God will continue to provide you with the incredible strengh that you have already demonstrated. Colin, I pray that God will give you rest and comfort until he welcomes you home. I pray that your boys will never feel resentment, but be somehow blessed by this. Finally I pray that every millisecond of your time together will be amazing!!! I love you both. with prayers and love
    melissa and chris (congo) porth

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  35. Tabatha & Simon NeigumJune 30, 2010 at 12:17 PM

    Colin and Melissa,
    Melissa your writing is so heartfelt... we pray everyday for colin, you and the boys to be able to be together and make more memories. Melissa you are such a strong and loving person, colin and the boys are blessed to have you in their lives. You are going through this extremely difficult time with such grace and are such an inspiration. We just want to let you know your family is in our heart and prayers and wish you god's blessing on your family. Hugs Tabatha, Simon, Tatum and Shayla Neigum

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  36. Dear Colin.....I pray that Jesus will bless you with his precious peace in knowing that He will take care of Meliisa and your boys. Jesus has blessed your family with amazing men of God who will be honored to be thier earthly fathers. Corban and Keegan will know and love our God and grow up to be all that you dream them to be. God has everything planned to take care of them, He put these people in your life for a reason, these men will step up and love them as thier own. I pray this brings you peace...

    Melissa Waechter

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  37. Missy, Colin, sweet Corbin and Keegan,

    Your thoughts on what you are facing right now is life altering for me.. I just wanted you to know that. Your perserverance, determination and love for each other is something I can only strive for in my own life.

    I've been following your blog from the beginning of this battle and my heart hurts for you.. it just hurts! I am so sorry that at such a young age you are now facing this. And for your beautiful children as well. It saddens me, but what a wonderful example both of you are to them today, and each day forward. You are both wonderful people!

    We don't know how many days any of us have here on earth, but just know that this one person is striving to be a better person because of you both, in all aspects of my life. Thank you for that!

    Colin- We will all take good care of Missy and your boys. What an army of people she has behind her to love her, hold her up and support her. I pray for comfort, peace and love to surround you both in each and every minute moving forward. Thank you for being such a wonderful example to us all! We love you!

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  38. Hi Melissa and Colin,

    We've been following your journey but haven't left many comments along the way. I can only begin to imagine the heartache you are feeling... Please know that you are constantly on our hearts and in our prayers. Your faith and strength are an inspiration and an encouragement. Your love for each other and for Jesus is so apparent! May we all learn to love in such powerful ways!

    Thank you for your example. It has touched and challenged me deeply.

    We are joining with so many as we pray for God's overflowing peace, joy, and strength in these times.

    With love,
    Justin and Chauntille (Hawley) Munchinsky

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  39. Hi my name is Mary-Jane im a friend of Taegan's

    i just wanted to let u both know that you are in our prayers everyday. My heart hurts so much for your situation
    Your blog is such a testimony. It has reminded me how important it is to love God, and the people he put in our lives, with our whole hearts -and i thank u so much for your example of this -it is something i plan on remembering from this point on

    Its so hard to understand things in this life but thank goodness we serve a big God who understands it all
    "so do not fear for i am with you do not be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help your I will uphold you with my righteous right hand" Isaiah 41:10

    Love and prayers

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  40. Dear Colin and Melissa,
    We have followed your blog daily through this journey and have been so blessed by your strong faith. I am not good at expressing myself in words like you are Melissa, but please know that we are praying for you daily and trust that God will continue to provide the strength you need each moment of every day. Thank you for openly sharing your thoughts so we can pray. May God richly bless you today with special times to treasure for the rest of your life. Happy Birthday Melissa!
    With much love and many prayers, Barry & Pat Heller

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  41. Colin & Melissa - My thoughts and prayers have been with you constantly - especially during this past week. Your faith is such an inspiration to many of us - you are wise beyond your years in that regard. With love and many, many prayers, Vide

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  42. Your strength and courage is amazing.I wish to have half of what you guys have....thinking of your family often....praying for peace

    Julie

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  43. Rat,

    For the last few days and weeks I have been replaying over in my mind the times spent with you.

    From our road trip to Minot where you were my first roommate as a Clipper and you pulled out the vet card and made me share a bed with Bucket while you had your own. (I think that was the first and only time I got rooked that year.) Or the time there was a mouse in our trailer at 86 Spruce Street and you were up on the couch like a little girl. Wow! We had some fun times as roommates in that tin can that we shared with Slim.

    You are a fun guy, but you are also a very special guy. Of all the people I have met in my life, you, my friend are one of the most consistent. You never changed, no matter the situation, you were always the same Rat. That says a lot about a man. Someone you can count on, there are not a lot of those left in this day and age, not many at all. I am sure that is the way you are these days, consistent and strong!

    I am sure you are a little nervous about what’s around the corner as all of us are in this life. However, you are strong and you have the knowledge that there is a better place and that is all that matters in the end.

    You are a special person, who married a special girl, that have special kids who your legacy will always live on through.

    I love you buddy and look forward to when we meet again whether here or there.

    Thanks for everything
    Butch.

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  44. Melissa & Colin, Our hearts are full and heavy as we share your postings. Your open and honest sharing has allowed us to know how to pray. This is for sure not the journey we had hoped and prayed for.
    We are praying for you both and for your sweet boys. Love, Bruce & Jeanne Hillis

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  45. Hello Melissa and Colin,

    Colin you have left a lasting impression upon me. I enjoyed teaching you firearms and have appreciated those talks that we have had in the change room and on the police range in Lethbridge.

    I am a profoundly better person, having known you.

    If you feel up to company please let me know. I have not wanted to intrude upon you and your family, but you are in my thoughts.

    Harley S. (Stacey) Kesler

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  46. Colin and Melissa,
    You continue to spur me on. What an encouragement you are! You continue to shine brightly even in this darkest time of your life. Your very life is an act of worship. You bring glory to God and share His love with every blog you write.
    A few blogs ago, you wrote about praying that you would not become angry. I continue to pray for you and your boys that God will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. May you know how high, how deep, how vast the Father's love is for you and your family. May your roots remain firmly planted in the rich soil of His presence. He cares for you.
    Praying and praying for you,
    Lisa Furlong

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  47. Keep battling Colin and Missy. Constantly in our thoughts and prayers.

    The Vandys

    'The last of our human freedoms is to choose our attitude in any given circumstances' Victor Frankl -a Nazi death camp survivor

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  48. Colin and Melissa,
    jeff and I are so sorry we never got a chance to meet you in person Colin, but feel we have come to know you and Melissa throught his amazing journey. With heavy hearts we send our love and blessings. I think back to the day in Charlottetown when we got the news with your Mom and Dad Melissa. Without even knowing you we have travelled this journey with you. Colin you have an amazing wife and family. Melissa you are truly my insparation. I truly look forward to the day we can finally meet Colin....Melissa my thoughts and prayers are with you for the rest of this journey
    Monica and Jeff Cove Lethbridge AB

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  49. Colin and Melissa,
    May God give you an abundance of peace as you travel down this difficult path. Our prayers are with you.
    Clint and Melissa Poettcker
    Briercrest Clippers 1999-2000

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  50. Hiya,

    We're on the road and still praying! So thankful for the blog. Hope it was a day full of cuddles.

    Blessings,
    Lisa and Jeff

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  51. Colin and Melissa
    Our hearts just ache for you and your loved ones. Thank you for sharing with us. We love you all sooo much and you are in our thoughts and prayers constantly. God will continue to bless you Melissa with the love and peace that you will need. You are an amazing woman, wife and mother and your strength will carry on as you raise your two precious lambs to be godly, loving, kind and faithful men...just like their Daddy! May God richly bless each moment that you have left together! We love you! We love you! We love you!
    Kelly Kurpjuweit

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  52. Colin and missy
    Reading your stories I have felt encouraged that your faith has helped you sooo much in this unbelievably difficult time. God is truly your strength as without him there would be no comfort. I will continue to pray for you Colin and for you Melissa as the two of you deal with this challange together.
    Sheldon Kurpjuweit

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