Sunday, July 4, 2010

Heavenly Promises....

Today i feel this sinking in the pit of my stomach that the end is more near than we know. The pain has begun, Colin woke me up around 430am this morning and was terrified, he was breathing so fast and heavy and he was so disoriented and confused and just wanted water from his sponge and for me to be awake with him. In a weird wonderful way, it was such a comforting time to just release him, we talked in choppy bits about him not being afraid to go be with Jesus but afraid for the pain and suffering he will endure until that time comes. The pain in his head is leaving him very disoriented....he is not our dearest Colin any more, i think yesturday morning was the last i saw of my dear sweet Colin. As we laid together, we prayed and i told him it was ok to let go and he told me he just didn't know how to do that yet, the pain meds are probably going to have to be adjusted again, but i think i caught his head ache in time to keep him comfortable. I don't know how much longer we will be able to care for him here at home, that will be another level of grief of having him leave and never will he return to our home.
Oh God, help...i have an ache today, I always told Colin that being a single mom would be the hardest job in the world, and here i am facing my worst fears.
God is good, the time i got to have in the peace and quiet of the early morning was more than i could have ever asked for, and for a time, he was the same Colin, in little bits and pieces. I just want him to go peacefully to be with his Savior.
Thank you for God's Words...sometimes it's all i have time to do is sit and read the words typed on the our blog, so thank you for filling me with Heavenly promises! It is a true honor to be apart of God's Family....I wonder what church would be like in Heaven this day....maybe soon, Colin will be able to get back to church, and oh goodness, what a service it's going to be!!!!!
Love, Melissa


    by: Jim Hill


    1. There is coming a day when no heartaches will come
    No more clouds in the sky, no more tears to dim the eye.
    All is peace forevermore on that happy golden shore
    What a day, glorious day that will be.

    What a day that will be when my Jesus I shall see
    And I look upon His face, the One who saved me by His grace.
    When He takes me by the hand and leads me through the Promised Land.
    What a day, glorious day that will be.

    2. There'll be no sorrow there, no more burdens to bear
    No more sickness, no pain, no more parting over there.
    And forever I will be with the One who died for me
    What a day, glorious day that will

    Colin & Missy:
    As usual, when I read your blog this morning, an old hymn just pops into my head. I thought of Colin's glorious entrance into his eternal home and how entirely whole he will be - what peace and joy! However, I know you will be left behind, just for a time, but that time will be very difficult, as you have alluded too. but - with the prayers of God's people, your strength will be renewed and you will fly on the wings of eagles! Our prayers go before you continually - you have already shown the world that you indeed are made in the image of God! Thank you for your transparency and vulnerability - you both have touched inumerable lives. Uncle Curtis and Aunt Joanne

  2. Oh Missy....i weep with you and am praying for you guys continually....

  3. "the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express....Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?...No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
    (Romans 8)

    Melissa and Colin, wordless prayers and love are lifting you up to our loving Father today. Rest in God's loving arms, hope in his unchanging presence. Be.

    "You are loved with an everlasting love." "And underneath are the everlasting arms."

    Uncle Tim and Auntie Lorrie

  4. We love you, brother, so much!
    love, Taegen and Brad

  5. God bless and praying for you!

    The Taylors

  6. I just started reading your blog a few days ago. It is heart wrenching and amazing at the same time. Your strength in Christ is undeniable strong. I have prayed for you often already and will continue to do so. What a gift your words have been.
    My husband and I went to BBC with Colin his first year and remember him to be so genuine and kind.

    In His Time,
    Wendy and Doug Hildebrand

  7. Colin,Melissa and family:
    We are interceding on your behalf. May you experience God's presence and know His promises in a very personal and powerful way.

    I know the Lord is always with me.
    I will not be shaken, for He is right beside me.
    No wonder my heart is filled with joy, and my mouth shouts his praises!
    My body rests in hope. For you will not leave my soul among the dead. You have shown me the way of life, and you will give me wonderful joy in your presence. (acts 2:25-28)

    Romans 8 (a few verses that stood out)
    v17 - But if we are to share his glory, we must also share his suffering.
    v18 - Yet what we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory he will give us later.v21- All creation anticipates the day when it will join God's children in glorious freedom from death and decay. v23- And even we Christians,although we have the Holy Spirit within us as a foretaste of future glory, also grown to be released from pain and suffering. We to wait anxiously for that day when God will give us our full rights as his children, including the new bodies he has promised us.v25- But if we look forward to something we don't have yet we must wait patiently and confidently.v26- And the Holy Spirit helps us in our distress. For we don't even know what we should pray for, nor how we should pray. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words. v27 - And the Father who knows all hearts knows what the Spirit is saying, for the Spirit pleads for us believers in harmony with God's own will.
    I know it has been stated many times Melissa,but thank you for taking precious time to share with us. Just think of the incredible army God has assembled across this country(and abroad)to pray for you and your loved ones-Wow what a beautiful picture!!GOD IS GOOD ALL THE TIME,ALL THE TIME GOD GOOD!!

  8. Praying so much for all of you!! You are such a strong lady, Missy! Colin is blessed to have you and the boys have a wonderful God Fearing mommy! Be strong, God is Your Strength, rely and rest in him! We pray Colins pain will subside and enjoy his last days with his wonderful family! We love you,

    The Roods

  9. Colin and Missy,

    What an Honor and a Blessing it has been to meet you and follow your journey this past year! When I was told last summer that I was to be Colin's FTO when he finished training, I was excited for both of us. I had no idea that, in actuality, Colin would be the teacher - an impecable example of Faith, Courage, and steadfast Love for his Savior!

    It was no coincidence that we were to be partnered - both having been married with small children while receiving that life-altering diagnosis while chasing a policing career, and both making repeated trips to Unit 57 at Tom Baker. I don't pretend to understand why some receive healing while others fight the battle, but I do know that whatever the result, the purpose is explained in John 9. When the disciples asked why the man was born blind, Jesus replied,`this happened so that the work of God might be dislayed in his life` WOW - It`s not just Colin`s faith in Jesus, but Jesus` trust in Colin`s faith, and HIS knowledge that Colin would be such an example of devotion through his trials.

    So, thank you Colin. Thank you for teaching me. Thank you Melissa. Thank you for your daily words to inspire me. May God richly bless you both as you have blessed all who read your words, and may you be blessed both here... and there.

    `Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outwieghs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.` 2COR4:16

    Noel Darr

  10. Melissa, I just heard recently of Colin's illness. I am so sorry for you and your family and yet amazed at how you are continuing to trust the Lord and release Colin to Him. I will be praying for you, Colin & your beautiful children. My heart is breaking for you.

    Charlene Brummund

  11. Melissa....I have been silent until now, feeling you don't know me well (hardly at all....), but I have been praying for you and your family for a long time, and the pain you and your family are going through breaks my heart!
    Your relentless faith and courage has truly been the greatest inspiration I have ever witnessed!! God is SO worthy of our trust and hope, isn't He? And He is ever so faithful when we dare to trust Him! Not one word of His promises to us will EVER fail! Your journey has been such a witness to the real power and love of God! May His presence continue to be your Sanctuary (Definition: A place where the presence of God pours over us like a healing balm and Jehovah-Rophe, our Healer, is present.).
    Psalm 73:23-26 "....but even so, You love me! You are holding my right hand! You will keep on guiding me all my life with your wisdom and counsel; and afterwards receive me into the glories of heaven! Whom have I in heaven but you? And I desire no one on earth as much as You! My health fails; my spirits droop, yet God remains! He is the strength of my heart; He is mine forever!" (TLB)
    I love you!! Melissa, Colin and sweet little boys!
    Ruth Peterson

  12. This morning in our church we sang the hymn "I Surrender All" and as I was singing it - I was asking myself if I really had surrendered it all? And, I was also telling myself that Colin and Melissa know the true meaning of those words. You have surrendered all to Jesus and you are living that out before so many of us and are being an example of God's love and putting all your trust and faith in His ways and His arms. We continue to pray for you and both your families throughout our days and nites. Holding you all close and asking the Lord to continue to carry each of you through this valley. Hugs and love - Larry and Joan Ballantyne

  13. I prayed for you last night when I couldn't sleep and today I just feel like I need to let you know that God is faithful and He will make you strong. In Him you have all that you need to get through all of this. Know that the Holy Spirit brings you to my mind often and when He does, I pray for you. 2 Thessalonians 3:3 NLT brought these words to my mind to share with you.
    Love & Prayers,
    Elayne Goertzen

  14. Our hearts are breaking that your time together is nearing an end, and saddened for the journey that still lies ahead for you and your families. We continue to lift you all up in prayer, and trust God continues to be on this journey and with each of you, upholding you in His embrace. Again we have to say how very thankful we are to the both of you, for the testament and example you have been to us through your journey! Colin, you have exemplified far beyond what it is to be a man of God and your boys are blessed to be the legacy you leave behind. Nothing we can say can make your goodbyes any easier, but we do pray you have special moments with Melissa and your boys until then. Melissa, you are the epitome of so many Godly characteristics...LOVE, FAITHFULNESS, STRENGTH...just to name a few, and it has been an honor hearing your heart on this journey . You have taught me so much, as a wife and mother and for many of us, as a believer as well, and I pray you are encouraged by the many lives you've changed. You've had to juggle many hats lately, as well as split your time between all your boys, and I pray you continue to seek strength from God and assurance that you are doing an excellent job! Colin, Corban and Keegan are very blessed to have YOU! (Prov 31:28) Both your attitudes and willingness to do as God asks, even when so hard, is astounding and I thank you for leading by example - for reminding of what it is to truly "let go and let God" in all we do. The both of you have touched so many lives with your steadfast faith and have left each of us with a desire and an example to strive to live by. THANK YOU! May God comfort and strengthen you in the days and nights ahead and surround you with love and peace. - Ria Wiens

  15. "The Lord bless you and keep you. The Lord make His face to shine upon you, and be gracious unto you!" We are remembering you often, and bringing you on our knees before our Father, Who WILL continue to carry you! We love you in Jesus! - Richard and Leila Hoffman at Highland M.B. Church

  16. Dear Missy and Colin,
    It feels terribly selfish to feel so enriched and blessed through your journey of suffering. I too was sitting in church this morning imagining Colin's welcome into heaven, it was glorious and joyful! I envy him. Our hearts were truly made for a world much richer than this. My heart aches for you and the boys, as staying behind is hard. I can only pray for a supernatural peace, patience, and joy to pass the moments that separate us from eternity. I can only imagine... For Colin, "The dream has ended, this is the morning" - C.S. Lewis
    Much love, Liesl and Cody Lockhart

  17. I'm shocked to hear about the news with Colin. We went the same schools growing up, had some classes together. God has a plan for all of us and this happens to be what he has chosen for Colin. You seem like a very strong person Melissa and Colin is blessed to have a wife like you by his side. Please say hello to him from me (Mandi Jess). I will keep your family in my prayers!

  18. What's your guys' e-mail?

  19. We love you all and are praying now for Colin to be released from pain and to be gently placed into the arms of our heavenly father. And that you will feel the arms of Jesus tightly wrapped around you at this time Melissa!
    Love Sheldon and Kelly

  20. We love you Melissa and Colin. We contiune to pray for peace and the little boys. Miss you. All our love

    Jennie and Kris

  21. I want to echo all the words written before me and tell you that we love you, we ache and grieve with you and we are so incredibly encouraged by your faith. I am a better person for having known you and Colin. I echo the prayer of blessing from Numbers 6:22-26 that Leila wrote out for you. We are praying unceasingly that Colin will not suffer too long and that Jesus will give you immeasurably more comfort and strength and peace than you can imagine.
    Love: Dave and Jen Morin and (Silas, Justus and Aria b/c they pray every night for your family as well)

  22. Dear Melissa,
    Our prayers continue for you and Colin at this time. I have been very touched by the blog and knowing what Colin has done with his life in reaching out to people and asking them to consider Jesus.
    I continue to ask that Colin would go to be with Jesus soon. The journey must seem long and difficult. The finish line will be worth it when Colin walks into the presence of Jesus. But for now the discomfort and pain must be overwhelming.
    I love you all!

    U. Reg

  23. We will continually pray that God will give you both strength.

    Arlen and Heidi

  24. many people praying for you and your family..

    cherish every second...i know you are...

  25. We are praying for you constantly and are amazed at the strength God is giving both of you. Our greatest longing now if for Colin to be done his suffering and just go home to Jesus.

    "Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith." Heb 12:2

    Love you and the boys so much.

    Travis and Katie

  26. Dear Colin and Melissa,

    I keep thinking and praying for you and your boys as you go through these days together. I pray that God will keep you in His arms holding you tightly, reminding you and filling you with comfort, strength, peace and love. How amazing God is, providing 2 hospital beds for your home, that Colin is able to receive care at home, And in the early morning God blesses you with a time of peace and quiet together. Moments to treasure forever from God and His great love for your family.

    Maibritt Bergman.

  27. Sometimes it's hard to know what to pray, I'm thankful that you are blogging in such a hard time. For those of us that don't know you well but are wanting to pray it makes it more specific. So many are touched by yours and Colin's journey. I was praying today and felt this overwhelming feeling that I need to share with you. I felt God was saying "He's so proud of you both" That was it, short and sweet with so much attached. This is what I observe as to why. For Colin for what he's facing but still doing his job as a husband to support you and your family. And for you Melissa for so so many reasons. You are facing the same pains but in your heart. You hurt for Colin and your kids and when you get a minute maybe yourself. But you are strong! You grieve when the time is right but you are so strong! My prayer for you right now is that for as long as Colin holds on, God gives you as many glimpses of "your" Colin as possible.
    praying faithfully,
    Michelle Isaak
    Psalm 34:4

  28. Dear Colin and Melissa,
    Your courage and faith has inspired me.
    You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. Annette Simons

  29. Melissa i feel privledge to have seen a glimpse into these last painful months. my eyes cry and my heart is so burdened for you. You are an amazing testimony of how God works in us who allows him to. Thank you for sharing this journey with all of us. God bless and keep you. You are in my prayers daily.

  30. Melissa,

    It is with blurry vision and dripping tears that I write this message to you. I knew Colin many years ago through a mutual friend, Nathan Perry. I am a wife and a mother and my heart just breaks for this journey you are on. Our God is big and powerful and mighty and compassionate and many other things. He will carry you through, all the way through. Your strength, courage, unfailing love and devotion to your beloved is an amazing testimony to what a wife should be, but more importantly to what a follower of Christ should be. You are an inspiration. My prayer for you is that God will continue to give you strength and protect your heart and your boys hearts through this journey you are on. I wish I could sit and pray with you, cry with you and hug you. Please know that many prayers are being thrown up to heaven for the four of you.

    In Him, Heidi

  31. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. Matt. 5:8

  32. We all love you Missy! Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family- hold on to that promise. We are praying for you!

  33. I am so touched by your ability to continue to share and inspire through this all....I have not stopped praying for you since last year....please know that you are covered by love and prayers from far and away..." Be still and know that I Am God"....I know you are holding on to this Melissa..He is there..


  34. Missy,
    I am so very sorry to hear. My dad just let me know. I am praying for you with everything in me. The Lord is your strength.
    Jolene (White) Friesen