Saturday, July 3, 2010

My Bestest Friend

My poor Colin has been having a rough couple of days...After they adjusted his pain meds, he has been having crazy feelings of floating and being off Kilter. He has not been eating very well and he's been kinda confused a lot. Not able to make the simplist of decisions, i'm afraid the best days are behind us and the tough one's are only beginning...Oh Lord, please don't let him suffer any more. This morning he has been unable to find a comfortable position, my brother and i have been trying to adjust him on and off all morning, now he has finally fallen back to sleep. He told me he just wants to be done and i kissed his forehead and told him he can go to be with Jesus whenever he needs to go, we don't want him to hold on and suffer, my desire is for him to be healed and fully restored, Heaven is his home. My fingers are shaking while i type, i hate that we have to live through this, i'm jealous my true love has to go without me to meet our Jesus, like Corban said, "do we get to go with Daddy when he meets Jesus?" I wanna go, BUT God has a plan, i am holding onto that promise that HE is directing our path, whatever or however that may look. I am afraid to walk through this valley, but our support has been mind-blowing, and there are so many blessings around each corner, i have nothing but Praise to a God who would care to carry us through this, or more realistically, HE is going before us through this, to make sure we are protected the entire way. These days, not many words come when i am quiet to pray. I am bathing in the promise to "Be still and know that I AM GOD". So honestly i have been leaning so heavily on the prayers of so many, beacuse in this time, we just don't have those words, and many of you do, so please don't stop carrying us in have no idea the impact you are having on our lives each minute of every day!
For now, it's quiet, that sounds seems SO loud, but so refreshing, just to sit and be in this moment....God is here, sitting in our room with us, Colin is at peace with that etrnal fact that he will be going to his true home....he is not at peace with the discomfort and weird symptoms from all the meds and the disease, my heart also aches for what i can't take away. Jesus, if it be Your will, take this cup from him, but if not, please protect Colin every second while he continues this battle. I miss my best friend, the one i could come to and sit with and share evry thought with, but now i have my Heavenly Father to do that with, i did before, but Colin is my earthly everything, and some days i don't know how i'm gonna get through this life without him by my side, i honestly don't know where i end and he begins, it terrifies me to try. For now, we live, today we have more love and cuddles and i have more time to just sit and study every day, one hour, one minute, one second at a time.
Lots of Love, Melissa


  1. Colin and Melissa, we love you so much and we share your pain. Colin will be restored and rest in the arms of Jesus. Life on Earth with out him may feel like forever, but in Heaven it will be like a blink of an eye and you will be together again in the glory of the LORD. Hold fast to Jesus the rock in the storms of life. Rest in His peace. We love you!

  2. Melissa, today I will specifically be praying for colin's comfort and that Jesus can be your strength and protecting fortress. Meghan Elkink

  3. Oh heart and prayers are with you, Colin and your dear children. I pray that Colin finds peace and comfort in the days ahead. You have a difficult road ahead, but God will guide your days and nights and help make your life a happy journey.

    Have a peaceful day!
    Hugs, Nancy

  4. Dear Colin & Melissa:

    I pray as well this day, for Colin to be free of pain and find comfort in His arms. I love you all!!!!

    Aunt Debbie

  5. Melissa and Colin,
    Just wanted to let you know that Joel and I have been praying for you and following your blog. Auriel and Maddy have been praying for your boys and their daddy and mommy.
    Carol Heese

  6. Melissa and Colin and Family

    our thoughts and prayers have been with you sinse you started this journey..My parents in Digby Nova Scotia have all of Nova Scotia praying for you all..Colin you are a friend that will always be in my heart and never forgotten.Melissa you are one special lady and one special wife and mother to your family.we are here for you all..Brian Tammy austin and madison

  7. Dear Melissa, Colin and little sweet boys,
    Tears stream down my cheeks and my heart aches for all of you as we read your words Dear Melissa. There is only one possible place for you to draw your strength from and that is of course from God. You certainly could teach this world of ours what God can do and I am sure you have inspired so very many people as you share you heart, love and feelings.
    I know God will always be with you and I know he shares your burden. Colin you are definitly fought your battle with all your might and now you may look forward to your time to be with our Lord in eternal peace until we can all be together once again. Continue to enjoy this last precious time together and know that we continue to pray for you all.
    Loads of Love Pat and Shorty

  8. Dear Colin and Missy - we continue to follow your blog every day in love and support for the journey you are on. It has been said over and over again how amazing you both are, not just as friends, but has parents and partners - you are role models for so many out there on how to live their life to the fullest. I wish for nothing but wonderful memories to bless your last days together, and for Colin to be in as little pain as possible. We know the journey on earth is different for each of us, and hope that your journey's forward will be full of great and wonderful things. We think of you both, as well as your wonderful boys often and pray for safety for you all. Colin - your boys will grow up to remember the amazing man you are, and will be so proud to have been your son! Melissa - your unwavering faith is profound and are a very special person. We love you all and until we see you again - take care of each other. Love always WIll and Shanda Glover

  9. Melissa, I understand to some degree the feeling of not having the words to pray. Over a year ago when Jaron was so sick and hospitalized in Calgary while my mom was hospitalized here with a broken neck, I also did not always have the words. That's when the prayers of others mean so much. So rest in the knowledge that those who know and love, you, Colin and the boys, are carrying you to God each and every day. And how heartwarming it is to read in the comments daily, how many people who have never met either of you are also upholding you in prayer. Grab these seconds, minutes and hours and hold them close in your heart and your mind.
    I will pray for strength for you as you let Colin go to be with Jesus. What a difficult thing to have to do. My heart aches for you. Please tell Colin, that Tim and I are praying for him, for release from the pain, for peace about leaving you and the boys.
    Hugs and love to you all
    Val Seitz

  10. Colin and Melissa,
    What a true inspiration you both are. What a wonderful example you are of God's everlasting and precious love.Anyone can see God's glory through you both. He is the Almighty and everloving God. Your grace and faith is demonstrated through every word you write. Thank you for sharing this difficult time with the world so that we may witness God's mighty hand upon you and your family.
    We pray for God"s strength for you and your family through this journey and remember the Poem Footprints...may it bring you comfort during this difficult season of your life.
    To you Colin, know that although you will leave this earth, you will always live through your children and the memories that you and Melissa have made.
    Love and peace to you both
    Brian & Milvia Bauman

  11. Melissa and colin you amaze me more and more everyday...praying praying praying....cherish every day,,,hour...min and second...

  12. Colin and Melissa,
    You have indeed inspired us as you continue to trust God through this difficult journey.We pray for you daily and will pray that God will relieve Colin from more suffering.You are couragous Melissa and may God put His loving arms around you and your boys.
    Betty and George Foster

  13. Continuing to weep and pray for you... May He give you the strength you need, the peace that passes all understanding, and moments of joy in these last days that you'll need to carry you into the future...
    We love you.

  14. May God wrap his Loving arms around you Melissa and boys as you release Colin into His care.
    Will & Vi Reddekopp

  15. Colin & Missy, we are praying for you continually! What an incredible witness & example you are through this most difficult time. You are touching so many lives as your share your journey & that extends so much farther than you'll ever know. Missy, thank you for being so real & candid. You are such a strong & faithful woman...God will honour you for that! Colin, may you continue to find peace & rest that only comes from Christ.
    With many prayers,
    Ben & Kristen Lawson

  16. Colin and Melissa
    We have ben praying for you all for almost a year now. We will continue to pray for you as this trial gets harder each day. God loves you and will give you the strength you need. We will pray for the boys as they deal with their feelings and for you as you help them.
    Sheldon and Jeanette Gitzel

  17. Missy

    Thinking and praying for you and your family everyday.


  18. This verse came to me this evening as I was praying for you. It is so true of you both. You have shown great diligence in your faith and you continue to show us what it is to realize the full assurance of hope.

    Hebrews 6:11, 12 And we want each one of you to show the same diligence so as to realize the full assurance of hope to the very end, so that you may not become sluggish, but imitators of those who through faith and patience inherit the promises.

    We can all be imitators of your faith and patience throughout the past year. To trust God completely and rest in His will. As Colin will meet Jesus face to face, you, too, Melissa, will meet Jesus in deeper ways than you have ever known before.

    Much love and continual prayers,
    Lisa Furlong

  19. I marvel at your strength each and every time I check in on the updates. May the upcoming days, hours, minutes, and seconds pass as they should...peacefully for you all.

    Love, Marina

  20. Dear Colin and Melissa,
    We wanted you to know that we have followed you on this difficult journey.

    I find myself at a loss of what to say, but what can I say...

    We are thinking about you, and hope that you find peace!!

    Dominic and Brittany Scrimger

    Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
    John 14:27

  21. Dear Melissa,

    I have quietly been following your blog for awhile now and praying for Colin. Thank you for being so honest and sharing your journey. Your blog is both heart breaking and amazingly encouraging. May you continue to experience the presence of our Lord as you move through this difficult time. God bless your family...
    Lana Sutherland (Lindsay's mom)

  22. Dearest Missy,

    I think of you tonight, near to your beloved Colin, engraving memories on your heart for the day when he leaves this earth. Treasure each sweet moment.
    We, too, pray that Colin's suffering will soon end and he will be fully healed in the presence of Jesus.
    God's strength and grace is so evident in your writing - in the way you admit that life is excruciatingly hard and that although this is a path you did not choose to walk, you place your trust in Jesus who loves you.

    blessings on all of you this night,
    Auntie Lorrie and Uncle Tim

  23. I think I was at Briercrest when Colin was and my cousin led me to this blog. Cannot even imagine what you've been going through but your journey has really challenged me to live my next 5 minutes like they were my last! I've been praying and crying for a miracle for so long for you guys, and even though the miracle that I hope for is probably unlikely, I bet God has another miracle in store....maybe it's the continued support system you speak of, maybe it's instant peace and comfort, I'm not sure. Thankfully God knows and we don't have to! I'll still pray and read your updates.
    Love a sister in Christ
    Kristal Murray

  24. When we are broken down and we have no words, God still hears our prayers. Our heavenly Father knows our every thought, our every concern, our every wonder.
    I can't tell you both enough how your journey has changed my life. You have helped me to be more aware of God's presence in every situation - good and bad.
    I will continue to pray for you, for strengh to carry on no matter what path your journey carries you down next, for comfort for Colin and for his peace of mind knowing that as Jesus welcomes him into his loving arms, he will also extend his healing hand over you and the boys and mend your broken hearts. I will pray that the boys will have an understanding but not be affected and that they will always remember the best times spent as a family.
    Melissa,I don't know how you will get through this - but I know that you will! You are a pillar of strength and your foundation is Christ.
    May the rest of your time together be spent in quiet comfort... continuing to pray!

  25. Lord Jesus, you are no stranger to pain, please carry this for Colin right now. My prayer for you both, for all of you --- that "the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Phil.4:7(NASB)

    Exodus 19:4(NIV) "I carried you on eagles' wings and brought you to Myself." Dearest Colin, I see you resting safe on those mighty eagles' wings, bring him home Sweet Jesus. Missy, those wings will carry you too --- day by day, moment by moment, for as long as you need.

    Love & Big Hugs,

  26. Dear Melissa and Colin,

    Romans 12:12 keeps coming to mind: Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer ... You are two of the most hopeful, patient people I have ever met, and if there are no words for you in prayer right now, then we, your brothers and sisters in the body of Christ will pray for and with you until your words return. I don't think anyone can read this blog without feeling a small measure of your pain, and in every way we know, we bear it with you. We cry out to the Lord on your behalf, we lift you up to God while we are washing dishes, driving children in our minivans, going to work or church, and coming home again; and we do this in faith, placing our trust in the God who knows far better than we do what goodness is.

    We are all called as believers to have the kind of radical trust and dependence on God that you have displayed publically in the last year. Your story has been and will continue to be a powerful witness and a testimony to lived theology - the kind of theology that Christ commanded of his disciples when he said "follow me". You have done this faithfully, and by God's grace Melissa, you will continue here after Colin has passed into the presence of Christ, where there will be for him no more tears, no more pain, no more suffering, only the perfect, eternal peace of God. You are not alone in your struggle, and you will not bear your burden alone. Rest in God this day, and know that your Christian family will be here over the long haul to care for you and the boys,to be the earthly hands and feet of the One who in tender mercy will heal your wounds.

    With love,
    Jeff and Lisa

  27. We continue to pray...we admire you Colin for your brave fight! You have changed more lives than you can possibly imagine. Thank you for sharing your journey, and challenging us to live a better life.
    ~Cooter and Erin

  28. Dear Melissa and Colin,
    We share in your pain and pray for you often throughout the day and during the nights. We can only imagine how very difficult it is to watch your loved one go through this kind of suffering. But we do know that God will give the strength we need one moment at a time. I was reminded of that as I read Max Lacado's book Every Day deserves a chance. Last night the " Daylifter" said:
    An accomplished Ironman triathlete told me the secret of his success. You last the long race by running short ones. Don't swim 2.4 miles, just swim to the next bouy. Rather than bike 112 miles, ride 10, take a break and bike 10 more. Never tackle more than the challenge ahead.
    Didn't Jesus offer the same counsel? So don't worry about tomorrow. AFter all, tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of it's own. Matthew 6:34.
    When asked how he managed to write so many books, Joel Henderson explained that he'd never written a book. All he did was wrtie one page a day. Face challenges in stages. You last the long race by running the short ones.
    As I read this I thought of you, Melissa and your fears of tomorrow. May this encourage you to savour the moments you have together and trust God to deal with what will come next. We do pray that you and Colin will be given the strength to fight the good fight and know that you will meet again in heaven. What a glorious promise. With love and prayers, Pat H.

  29. Dear Melissa and Colin,

    You have both showed such amazing strength. Strength only God can give. We pray for you all the time. I pray for newly restored peace everyday and Colin's comfort.