What a Strange but Perfect Gift...TIMING

What Good medicine it is to be around great friends! We had a little party tonite with some of our very bestest friends and it was just what we all needed! Our little Keegie Bear is turning two years old in the morning and i just can't believe how these years have flown! Such a monumental week..Corban is riding his two-wheeler bike and keegan is turning two and all of a sudden finding his voice, and TONS of words along with it! I never could have dreamed to have such a warm, loving, and support close-knit group of friends, we are so thankful for these precious memories and excited for many more to come!
I've been thinking a lot about the verb of the word "mourn". To be in mourning has so many layers to it. To this point in my life, i've only thought of that word as a devastatingly sad and lonely concept. What God is showing me is that mourning is a whole lot more complicated than just sad and lonely...BUT complicated in an almost positive sense...ok, am i losing you yet?! heehee...I have found myself being lost in memories of the love Colin and I shared, and the love he had for our boys, and it makes me smile, it makes me happy...something i didn't think was associated with mourning. I have also been learning that i need to let things go, I was so blessed to have had the most amazing 10 years of my life with the love of my life....i am satisfied in that and content that although this is going to be so painful and lonely, I need to dig my heels in and still live like we only have this one day....i can't go back, we won't ever be able to go back, so we must ask God to carry us forward. AND HE HAS!!! This may come as a sudden shock to some, but i maintain that God is guiding me and my boys and we are confident in HIS leading....Although we were not looking to move, God has in a sense "dropped" a house in our laps, and with much prayer and being open for God to either open the door or close it shut...HE has opened it and allowed for me and my boys to get a house that is perfect for our every need for a permanent amount of time!!! Before Colin relapsed, we were set to begin looking for a house to move up into...our little home is a starter home and we have been noticing that we are quickly bursting at the seams, so with that in mind, we made a list together that although simple would meet our long term needs to find another perfect home for our family. When i walked through the doors of this house.....i quickly found and mentally checked off every single one of our simple requests for another home...all the way down to details that we only shared with each other about what we wanted...God Knows, and i know that Colin would have loved this home for us. I understand that others will have opinions but i only operate in direction with The BIG Guy, and I am fully at peace that this has been orchestrated by God, Himself. God also knew how very stressed i get when thinking about the time and effort it would take to list our house and try to sell it....and He also took care of that side of things, and we were able to find a buyer and we privately sold our house as well! PRAISE THE LORD!!! I am still in complete awe at how He fits everything perfectly into place....i am excited to have a home to start new and amazing memories with our boys....and as i have been packing up and going through things, i have this strange sense that this house is no longer our home with Colin not here with us in it....I just am sad that Colin couldn't be here to jump around and hug me and say "we did it, we found the house we've been dreaming for! This is our time!" Up until his last days, we were still talking about finding another house.....
Tomorrow we are packed and ready to hit the road for Calgary for the weekend to be with Andy and Nat, which has kinda been more our home this past year than any, to be honest! Then Monday Mom, Dad, Me and the boys will be headed out to shushwap for about a week to have some down time and hang out with some great friends! So if you don't hear from me for a bit, at least you know what's been going on in our life!
God is Good, ALL the Time!
If i can, i will update from our holidaying, if not, i will as soon as we return!
Blessings,
Melissa