How Bad is Bad Before Better? AND when will better be?

I wish i was coming to you with better news, and well, i guess if i try to see the glass half full, this can be good news....After Colin was done treatment today the medical staff in radiation were concerned with Colin's growing lack of dexterity in his arms and hands, more so on his left side. Within 3-4 days, literally he has lost all mobility and function in his entire left arm and hand....not good. We thought this was a result of things getting worse before they were to get better, but our Doc told us he was concerned and that this symptom does not add up...so he admitted Colin on the spot, in hopes of getting him fast tracked to MRI and another spinal tap. I guess what they are wanting to know is if there is any more lymphoma growing and also, what, if any, improvements are showing with radiation treatments so far. He seemed a little dissatisfied with the lack of any improvement in Colin's symptoms so far. He did say that each patient is different and that he hopes we will see something get better this week.
Our hearts have dropped at this news, we both just got the wind knocked out of our sails with this...poor Colin, now that he is admitted under the radiation department, we do things the normal way....he is tucked away on some trama unit which is on constant lock down due to brain injury's and we aren't allowed any cell phone activity with all the life support machines and everything else...wow, a far cry from Unit 57! BUT the nurses seemed nice, also the young female roomate Colin is sharing a room with seems nice. Not sure how she is without her percocets but i hope we're out before we find out:)
With yet another "new" weird symptom that no one can explain, it's just making Colin's way of life more frustrating.....don't get me wrong, he'd sooner do it out at home than ever have to stay for an extended hospital visit....we just were SO hoping to find some exciting new improvement before anything else went wrong.....now, yet again, we sit and hold our breath until they come back and tell us what 'else' is happening.
As we were sitting, so sad, and so homesick having supper down in a little cafeteria, we cried as we talked to the boys, who were also crying telling us they missed us and that they needed us to come home....we just wanted to get up and go home and make it all go away so badly! This really nice woman handed me a kleenex....after i was finished on the phone and collected myself after talking to the kids i looked up and just happened to overhear them talking about the flooding that is bringing so much damage and displacement to Medicine Hat. So i caught their eye and asked if they were from Medicine Hat....they said YES, as i looked at them, they looked like people i had seen before, and i said as much. They said Hillcrest Church! WOW! They have a loved one who has been battling her own cancer, with not much hope or help from the medical profession. I actually didn't ask their permission to share their story, so i won't use any names, and please forgive me if i have said too much.....but through this "God ordained" encounter we felt the loving arms of Jesus coming over us in their love and well wishes and in their renewed hope and joy, because God did a miracle of healing their loved one!!!! PRAISE GOD, we cried with them, tears of happiness and hope and joy and relief!!! I pray they sleep good tonite! I also prayed that they be blessed with how God uses the Body of Christ to be HIS HANDS and FEET and HIS HUGS!
I don't know that those people will read this, and i know they will know who they are if they do, but thank you, for giving Colin and i HOPE. Our God is a God of doing the unthinkable, the impossible, and we PRAISE YOU FOR THAT, LORD!
Miracles are happening all around us, Colin and i are reminded of them often, and today we were reminded that when we need a hug from God Himself,He'll have someone there to make sure it get's to us, at the exact moment we need it most!
So tonite Colin is sleeping in the hospital and he will continue with his treatments for this week and we hope the MRI and spinal tap will be soon, so that he can get out of there and back to Andy and Nat's, our home away from home!
i plan on getting him outside in the sunshine as much as possible tomorrow, and again, God is a GOOD God, ALL THE TIME....i need to sleep now.....so tired from this day, i will keep you posted with how this all plays out....it sucks, and Colin and I are concerned, but God is in that room with Colin, sustaining him and giving him strength and keeping him at peace with whatever news may come!
I just wish some good news could come soon, something to give us some momentum to keep going strong....God give us strength this week, please prepare us for whatever may come, and thank you for all the support we have around us, and thank you for the amazingly warm hug of being apart of the Family of God!
Good Night! I hope this all makes sense, but since i see it as our journal, i hope you'll look over any spots that don't make sense, i won't make a habit of being up this late very much anymore!
Luv, Melissa