Sunday, September 27, 2009

So lastnight was not a fun night for me. No health problems just some realizations hit me before I feel asleep. Luckily Melissa was still awake to talk with me and comfort me. She is such an amazing wife and mother!

I was just laying in bed thinking about this situation and before I had thought about the possibilities of having cancer and going through these treatments. I had cried over the chance of not making it through, but lastnight something came over my thoughts and I could stop thinking about what would happen if I didn't make it. How would Melissa be? How would my boys be? How would my family be? I couldn't stop thinking about not seeing Corban and Keegan again and not being there as they went to school, graduated school, got married. I know it is a real possiblility with having cancer that I could die, but atleast I know where my salvation lies, and that is in Jesus Christ! If there is any comfort this is it!

Not that I think I am going to die, because I will fight until the bitter end. Please don't worry, right now I am actually doing really well. Our doctor told me she was proud of me for how well I am doing. I feel good and I am loving spending so much time with Melissa! I believe and pray I will make it through and be healed and have so many years with the boys and in my new career. Right now I guess I finally had some time to think about what is really going on and I had a chance to deal with those emotions lastnight with Melissa. I don't thinkI have cried that hard and long ever. I couldn't stop thinking of Melissa and the boys.

Today was a better day though. Melissa and I slept in and had a relaxing day. We would have gone to church but I cannot go to places with crowds as my cells counts are too low. We went for a drive to get some things at Sobey's but I sat in the car and listened to the radio. I still sometimes get headaches so if everyone could pray they go away because they are annoying, but I do get more naps because that is the only way to get rid of them. Anyways this is all I have right now, just wanted to let everyone know whats been going on with me. We love you all and thank you so much for your prayers through this journey. Just remember God is faithful and is the ultimate physician and He is going to heal me!



  1. I have been following your blog daily since Aunt Clara gave me the web address. Thank you for sharing your lives in such a transparent way. I wonder if God has chosen you, like Queen Esther, “for such a time as this” (Esther 4:14)? The time might not be revealed until eternity (our ways are not God’s ways – Isaiah 55:8) or the time could be several years from now when you encounter someone who has just been diagnosed or the time could be right now as you share your updates and remind us what really counts in this life and for eternity. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your families. I pray particularly for God’s strength to be upon you and that your lives will return to ‘normal’ very soon! Continue to run the race and receive God’s “well done”.
    Connie (cousin to Melissa’s Dad)

  2. Colin you are a brave soul and honest with the situation you are in right now. it brings back memorys of my past.
    God is good and He knows the beginig from the end. Just keep on trusting and we will keep on praying for all the requests that you post.
    we love you and mellisa and the boys as well.
    Love Grama and Grampa Toews

  3. HI Colin:
    Darla Christianson here. I wrote you a post today, but I don't know if you got it or not. Could you reply to me on my email at and let me know. If you didn't get it, I did something wrong and I'll try writing it to you again,

    Stay blessed,


  4. Hey Colin...thanks for the updates, you are continually in our thoughts and this blog is a great tool to keep us all up to date. The senior ladies at our church called me and they want me to come and pick out a "comfort quilt" for Corban and Keegan. :) Something for them to curl up in when they are missing you! ( I will send it back to Med Hat with Kaleb when he comes home for Thanksgiving) I thought of you as well, that you just need to have the loving God who made you to be your "Comfort Quilt". He will hold you and protect you as you walk this path that He knows you can handle. Love you lots Colin,,,
    Auntie Dawna for the Motz men too :)